I. The Quest

Once long ago the world was shrouded in darkness. Then the first light of dawn hit the sky. The darkness was moved back into the shadows of the earth and was never seen again………..

I’m Jack, a skinny guy with skinny rib bones and a determined heart. My parents died in a war many years ago. I have three faithful friends. Gavin, Silas, and Jonah.

“Wake up!” “Wake up!” said Gavin. 

“What is it?” I yawned. 

“Mayor Slick says he got a message from THE DARKNESS.” Said Gavin. 

Then I heard a slam and Silas entered the room.

 “What’s the darkness?” I asked.

 “No, no, no,” said Silas. “you’re supposed to capitalize all the letters: THE DARKNESS.” 

“Just get to the point!” I said. 

“The letter said this,” said Gavin, handing me a small piece of paper with scribbled writing on it. 

We come for revenge. Bring 3 warriors. Move in the south direction.

Sincerely, THE DARKNESS

That afternoon, Mayor Slick called a town meeting. “Everybody in this town will write their name on a little slip of paper and put it in this bucket,” He gestured toward a large red bucket.

“Tomorrow we will pull four names out of this bucket. Three to be the warriors and one to be the guide.”

There were many warriors in the town but I was not one of them. Gavin and Silas had taken warrior classes but I was not up for the job. When I was little I wanted to be a warrior but ever since my parents died I decided that it was best if I stayed in the village. 

The next day in school the class was working on an exit ticket. The math problem was this: (5 x 4) +( 3 x 4) = (? x 4) Even though it was super easy I couldn’t think straight. My mind was on who would go on the quest. Just then, the loudspeakers came on commanding everyone come to town square. Immediately. I got up from my seat and walked past Billy Connor, who immediately pushed me. Billy was a friend long ago but a bully ever since he had laughed at me for falling in the mud face first. I stumbled into a locker and fell down. “Nice going geek!” yelled Billy over the hustle and bustle and hustle of the crowd. 

I arrived at the town square. The mayor hovered his hand over the big red bucket as if he was going to do a magic trick. “The guide will be……..”  He shoved his big hand into the bucket and pulled out a slip of paper. “Jonah Wagoner!!!!” he said. “For a warrior, Gavin Valentine!!! For another warrior, Silas Viggers!!!!”

“No, no, no!” I thought. “I don’t want my friends going on a dangerous journey!”

The Mayor picked up the last card and read it. “Jack Shuler!!!!” The rest of my friends got up and walked to the mayor but I stayed still. I didn’t want to go on this never-ending quest! 

“Jack Shuler!!” the mayor called again. I got up from my seat and lumbered down toward the mayor. Once we all got there, the mayor picked up a big bag that was by his side. “Bear these well, Silas.” He said pulling a knife and what looked like a bottle of deadly nightshade. “Also, this.” He said, giving Gavin a small metal ball. “Press this button and say anything that will protect you and the ball will go in front of you and become that image.” 

“Wow!” Gavin said. 

“For the guide.” He said, holding out a compass, a map, and a small spy drone. Jonah took the contents eagerly. 

“And for Jack.” He said, pulling a golden sword from his pack.  It glinted in the sunlight while the mayor held it out to me. I picked up the sword and at the first touch of it I longed to go on an adventure. “And here we are!” I thought.

Our adventure had started! We were in Craven Wood forest walking over the dry leaves when Silas stopped in his tracks. Gavin bumped into me which made me topple over onto the dry path with a crunch. 

“Don’t move.” Whispered Silas. 

I looked up and saw why. A huge plackyatallagone was looming over us. Well, I suppose you don’t know what a plackyatallagone is. It’s kind of a cross between a giant and a giraffe. It’s huge and yellow and covered in brown spots.

 Then a whole cluster of arrows came out of nowhere and hit the beast with so much force that the plackyatallagone moaned and fell to the side. Armed little men stepped out from behind the trees. They all had miniature bow and arrows in their scrawny hands.

“Dwarves!” Silas and Jonah said in unison. A ragged tough looking dwarf raised his bow, and fired.  

II. The Shaper

You are now probably wondering what will happen to us as we stand there on that unfortunate day. More arrows will shoot at us, going for our souls and piercing our hearts. More figures will come out of hiding. 

But now let’s get back to the story.  The arrow the dwarf shot zoomed past us and hit a squirrel scampering in the wood behind us.

The dwarves said they like vistors and told us we could stay for the night. I agreed. They took us to their camp.We traded things; a loaf of bread for a healing potion.

After we ate, some of the dwarves told stories. Gavin and Silas went to sleep while Jonah was exploring the grounds so I was the only to hear the stories (or possibly rumors). 

“I heard,” said a dwarf named Saxlatonyon. “that there’s a killer wolf that is black with a white spot on its chest out there!” he gestured toward Craven Wood forest. 

“No,” said another. “I heard that it is white with a black spot!” 

I ignored them both. What could a wolf do to us? “Lets get some rest!” I said. We were leaving the village tomorrow. What would happen to us? I was about to find out.

In the morning we packed our bags and left the village. We were out in Craven Wood forest when we heard a sound. It was the sound of a wolf howling not so far in front of us. 

“C’mon!” Gavin said. “We need to find what is making that sound!”  We all rushed to see what it was. And there it was, right in front of us, a wolf all black except for a white spot on its chest. It immediately looked up from its howling and looked at us. You’ll never believe what happened next. Dark energy formed all around the beast making it so we could only see the outline of it. It shaped and formed into what you could call a boy but we could not see clearly because of the darkened energy. It was much more than a boy. Much, much, more. Just as fast as it got there, the energy disappeared. Standing there was a boy. I recognized the familiar face at once. It was Zeagan Paris, a boy that used to go to school with me until he moved. Silas, Gavin, and Jonah all knew him too.

 “What are you doing here?” asked Gavin. 

“My house was destroyed.” said Zeagan. “And my parents were in it.”

 “First explain this,” I said. “What’s with the creepy wolf-shape thingy ma-bob?”

 “When I was young, I was possessed by magical creature and for all these years I could shape into a wolf.” Said Zeagan. “My kind are called THE SHAPER or A SHAPER, But you can call me Zeagan.” 

I laughed at his little joke. Then the sound of arrows being shot and hooves rang throughout the forest. 

“We’ve got to get far away from here!” Said Zeagan. “It’s the Uddercrats!”

 “What are Uddercrats?” Jonah asked as we stumbled though the woods.

 “They’re assassins!” Said Zeagan. 

“That’s all I need to know!” I thought, as I ran farther ahead of my group. The Uddercrats were getting farther behind. Then, the sound of hooves just stopped. Completely. We were all out of breath. Jonah 

rested on a stump while me and the others laid down on the soft leaves. Zegan was panting on a rock near by. Jonah took his drone out of his backpack and set it up. We were so busy he had never gotten the chance to test it out. The buzzing of the wings started and then it was up in the air. The last thing I knew is that I fell asleep. 

Okay, to make a long story short, the Uddercrats found us again. They were right behind us. Jonah’s drone was still up in the air. While we were being chased by foul creatures and running for our lives, Jonah said, “What does this button do?” gesturing torward a button on his remote control for his drone. He pushed it.

A deafening boom from somewhere up in the sky erupted over us like a rain shower. A huge missile came out of nowhere and hit the Uddercrat pack, blowing half of them up with a big boom. 

“Good job, Jonah!!” Gavin cheered.

But we weren’t safe yet. There were big thorn bushes behind us, Uddecrats on both sides of us and in front of us. Four of the Uddercrats pulled out four big sacks from the loads they were carrying.  

“They are big enough for us to fit in!” I thought. “Uh-oh! They’re going to capture us!”

The Uddercrats were closing in now. Then just like that, before they captured us, Zeagan changed into wolf form, darted through the Uddercrats legs and scampered through the woods. 

“Ah darn it!” said a little Uddercrat named Robby.  “I was going to eat that one!”

 “Be quiet!” said another. “We got humans to catch!” That bought us some time.

 Just as they raised their bags Gavin shouted “PLACKYATALLAGON!!!!!” 

 The small metal ball in Gavin’s hand rose up into the air and jiggled for a little bit, then transformed into a plackyatallagone, but this time silver……and leveled up! It took five seconds for the plackyatallagone to wipe out all of Uddercrats. 

 When it was all done Gavin said “Return!” The plackyatallagone shook for a moment then became a ball and dropped into Gavin’s wide open hands.

 Out of all the dust, Zeagan (in human form) appeared and all he said was, “Let’s go to my house.”  

III. Zeagan’s House, Part 1

We had walked very far when we finally reached Zeagan’s house. Zeagan thought he put his house in a very good spot because there were berries and good food around it. “A lot of food for us!”

 I don’t know who lives in that house with him but I guess we will find out! You know, you can’t always believe this guy, you know? He’s CRAZY. Top notch. Mr. Craze. He’s so crazy he once told me that he’d rather eat a berry than play basketball! (okay, not that crazed but a little)! Still, you get the idea. 

 We stepped into Zeagan’s house to find my old friend, Levi, cooking steak on a rusty pan. He had moved away too. Wherever Zeagan went, Levi went. They were like legos with glue on them; they just clicked, and never came apart again. 

 “I built this house with Zeagan.” Levi said. “The fire killed my parents, too,” he continued, “so we met up and built this house.”

 “Levi is also a shaper.” Zeagan said. “Together we make peace!” 

 “You got that from STAR WARS, right?” Jonah asked. 

 Zeagan hesitated. “Um…no”.

 “but—“ Silas interrupted, “the peace thing is kinda like the force?”

 “I think so, friend. Peace, force, what’s the difference between them?” Gavin said. 

 “Enough about STAR WARS!” I said. “Let Zeagan speak!” 

 “Well,” he said. “I could show you around.” We all agreed on that.

After a long tour, Zeagan showed us a room with old looking beds. “For our guests.” He announced. It looked like they hadn’t been slept in for years. “Now go to sleep,” he said. “We have a big day ahead of us.” Then he shut the door. 

 I woke up at 4:00 am the next morning smelling smoke. I opened the window only to see a tree. Now that’s not the surprising part. The tree was on fire.

III. Zeagan’s House, Part 2

“ZEAGAN!!” I yelled. “LEVI!! GUYS!!! GET UP HERE!!!” 

 Luckily, Zeagan and the guys came running. Zeagan burst into the room, followed by Gavin, Silas, and Jonah. Apparently, Levi was still asleep.  

“What’s going on here?” Zeagan asked.

“Look out the window!” I said. So Zeagan did. He walked over to the window and muttered something. I’m pretty sure he said something like “Not again!” 

But Gavin could hear him apparently, so he said for no reason whatsoever, “What? Did you find my lost juice box?” 

“Wait a minute,” Said Jonah. “You lost a juice box?”

 “Yep!” Gavin said. 

“I did too!” Said Jonah. “Secret handshake!!”  

“We don’t have a secret handshake, remember?” Said Gavin. 

“BE QUIET!!!” I yelled. The fire was close to the house now.

“Thanks!” said Zeagan. “Now as I was saying, we need to wake Levi up!” 

So that was that! We woke Levi up. Or at least we tried to. We yelled  at him, tugged at his ears, and tickled his nose. Then Zeagan pushed to the front of the bed. “I learned this in preschool.” He said casually. He got really close to Levi’s ear and said: “Cheese crackers!” 

Levi’s eyes popped open immediately. He hopped out of bed, started shaking like crazy, and he had a

freaky grin on his face. Then like that, he started running around the room like crazy, barreling through us like a bowling ball and pins. 

 Somehow, we got Levi to be normal old Levi again. Zeagan and Levi changed into wolf form and sat on the floor. Then simultaneously they both howled. And guess what? The fire stopped immediately. 

“Well,” said Silas. “I guess they were right when they said they made peace!”

IV. The Terrible Loss

It was morning. We had to set out on the quest again. Zeagan came with us. Apparently, Levi had to cook. Man, that guy sure loves cooking. At 8:56, we entered a valley. It was covered in flowers and green grass and whatever nice things you could imagine! At the edge of the valley, we had lunch. Silas brought sandwiches, Gavin brought fruit, Jonah brought snacks, Zeagan brought meat, and I brought more snacks. Then we sat down and ate lunch. 

“Watch out for the snapping vines!” ordered Zeagan.

“Snapping vines?” said Silas, eager to learn something new. 

“This is all you need to know: they bite.” answered Zeagan. 

After lunch, we walked three miles or so. Then we came across a pond, and everyone wanted a drink. Exept Zeagan. He didn’t trust the pond. He thought he smelled “evil.” Jonah was about to drink when a huge tentacle burst out of the pond and seized him. Then a bunch more tentacles burst from the now blackened water and slid across the ponds edge searching for more victims. Just before the hideous beast grabbed me, I was tackled by Zeagan. When I got up, a huge mouth burst from the pond. And right above the mouth a big tentacle was coiled around Jonah. 

“Oh no you don’t.” I said, gritting my teeth. I pulled out my sword from its sheath, took a running leap, and sliced off the tentacle that was curling around Jonah. I expected to catch him, but man, Jonah is heavy. As I landed on the other side of the pond, Jonah fell straight into the beast’s mouth.  

“NOOOOOO!!!!” I cried. Then I burst into tears. “JONAHHHHH!!!!” I yelled. Then the beast sunk back into the pond without a trace. 

 “No time for crying.” Silas said, his eyes already red from sobbing. 

 Then I saw something far in the distance. It was a person. And he had a sword and a shield in his hand. It was only one person at first, then I could see more people armored up. Then a whole bunch of them! And they were running straight at us.   

V. Return of the Friend

 “Uh—guys?” I said. The “guys” looked over. 

 “Oh no!” said Gavin. “It’s war!” 

 “I know!” I said. 

 “Zeagan,” I ordered. “Can you shape into anything other than a wolf?” 

 “Yep!” Zeagan said. “I can always shape into a wolf but when I want to shape into something else, it has to match my surroundings.”

 The soldiers were coming close now. “THEN SHAPE!!!!!” I shouted.

 Just as the black knights were upon us, Zeagan shaped into the horrible tentacled creature that ate Jonah. Zeagan, in tentacled creature form, swiped away the soldiers like a cat swiping away a mouse. But not for long. The knights took Zeagan from the back. The moment a  soldier struck Zeagan with a spear, Zeagan turned back to good ol’ Zeagan. But then, Zeagan shaped into me! Then he multiplied into a bunch of me! Soon there was a whole army of me. Then at all the same time, all the Jacks lifted their swords from their sheaths and started to attack. And we destroyed those soldiers. 

 When we were all done, we rested on the grass. “If those knights were coming from THE DARKNESS’S castle, then it might not be far away!” Silas said. 

 “You’re right!”I said. “We should be moving at once!”

We had walked and walked for hours now and it was getting hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter until sand was under my feet and

sweat was in my face and the sun scorched my exposed skin. We were now in a desert.

  “My dad told me about this desert!” Said Silas. “I think it was called Desertan Desert.”

 We had walked a few miles until we stopped under a tree. 

 “We’ve got to find some dinner!” Said Gavin. 

 He was right. I was hungry too. So we took out the bow and arrows that the dwarves had given us. We weren’t good with bow and arrows but fortunately Silas knew how to shoot one. We finally got a fox. Silas knew how to make a fire too. When we got one going, we roasted the fox above the fire. It wasn’t the best, but it could have been worse. 

 After we ate, Zeagan said “Let’s go to sleep here. It is a nice spot.”

 So we did.

 I woke up late in the night hearing a sound. It was the sound of footsteps near our camp. It was so late that I could not make out who it was. I could only make out the hair. It was short like a boys. If he walked too close to me I knew what I would do. I would wake up the guys. As if reading my mind, he walked closer. 

 I rolled over to Zeagan and whispered in his ear: “Zeagan! Night intruder!” 

 Zeagan woke up with a start. He scrambled to his feet at once and grabbed his flashlight. Then, he turned on the flashlight so I could see who it was. He was all cut up. He had no right hand and a big slice in his leg. Suddenly, the figure moaned and fell to the ground, blood oozing out of his wounds. I had not recognized the night intruder at first but now I did.

“Jonah!” I said, waking up Silas. “Are you okay?”

 “Jonah’s here?” Said a startled but tired Gavin. 

“Yup!” I said.

 “But I thought he got eaten!” Said Silas. 

“He somehow survived!” I said. 

“It’s close to dawn.”Silas said. “We can wait until he wakes up.” 

So that’s what’s we did. 

It was about 6:40 when I heard a moan. It was Jonah. He had finally woken up. I walked over toward him. 

“Jonah?” I asked him. 

“Jack?” He asked me. 

“Yeah, it’s me.” I said. Then he conked out. 

“Silas!” I yelled. 

Silas came running. “What do you want?” He asked me. 

“Do you have any material to fix Jonah up?” I asked him. 

“Yep!” He said. 

“Then fix him up!” I said. 

So he did.

When I came back to Silas and Jonah, Jonah had a new robot hand and his leg had healed.

 “I’m still getting used to the robot-hand thingy.” He said. 

 And I have to admit, that robot-hand is really cool. It’s black with red wires. I don’t know how Silas did it but Silas always says: “Never question a Silas. For anything I say will be far too complicated for your tiny human brain.” 

So I guess to never question a Silas.

We walked a couple miles today until our feet were too tired to walk or run any farther. So we sat down at the bottom of a high dune. It was getting pretty dark outside so we decided to sleep there. Before we got all set up I saw a light not very far from us. It was just right above the dune.

 “Guys, do you see the light?” I gestured above the dune. 

“Yeah.”said Gavin.

 “Yeah.” Said Silas. 

“Yeah.” Said Jonah. 

“Yeah.” Said Zeagan. 

“Then let’s get up there!” I said.

 So we all climbed up there. And guess what we saw: The Uddercrats camp.

VI. Revenge of the Uddercrats

 This was bad. But not just bad. Very, very, bad. We had to get moving quickly before any of the Uddercrats saw us. So we did. We hurried back to camp. We packed our things and hurried away. We went beside the camp near all the trees so no one could see us. 

 As we were creeping along, I saw a shadow behind the trees but thought it was probably my imagination or something. But it wasn’t my imagination or something. A dark figure jumped out from the trees. But the thing is that it was floating. It was all darting around unable for me to see what it was although it was probably just black energy or some sort of cheesy trick. Did I mention how big this thing was? Well, it was pretty big. Then the thing flew overhead behind us. But none of the other guys saw the black figure.

 “The Uddercrats have found us!” Jonah said. 

 “Run!” Whispered Gavin. 

 “No, stay here!” I said. 

 Somehow, my legs betrayed my mind. And boy, we ran. Last time we ran from the uddercrats they were unarmed but this time they had swords and spears. 

 Did I ever mention how ugly these things are? They have beards (most of them) and weird twisted faces and tiny short legs with grimy shoes. But they ride on big horses, yelling “Go, horsey!” The whole time they assassinate their victims. 

The uddercrats threw their spears and swords but man, they have really bad aim. One of the 

Uddercrats had a bow and arrow and shot Silas in the arm. A cry of pain came up from Silas.

 “You’ll be okay!” I said to him. 

We kept running and got far ahead of the uddercrats either because something else had caught their eye or their horses were not cooperating. We slowed down and sat underneath a tree guarding our skin from the hot sun. 

Then something caught my eye in the distance. 

“Come look at this guys.” I said to the guys. Silas stood up and looked at it. 

“It can’t be!” he said. 

“What?” asked Jonah, too lazy to stand up and have a look at the thing. 

“Out here?” said Gavin, standing up. 

“What???” said Jonah again.

 “It’s a fortress!” I said. 

VII. Trouble

“Let’s break in,” said Silas. 

“Are you crazy?” I said.

“No, I am not. If we break in we could maybe find some important footage to help us on our quest.” answered Silas. 

“Maybe.” I said. 

So that was what we did. It’s not as easy as you would expect. Actually, it was way harder. So I will start at the beginning. So where to start, where to start. Oh, yeah! Their were two guards at the entrance to the base.

 “Watch this!” said Silas, pulling a slingshot out of his backpack. 

“Why a slingshot?”asked Gavin. 

“No need to ask.” said Silas as he put a small rock in his slingshot, aiming at the gong that was nearby. Gong! Gong! Gong! Rang the gong. All the guards and workers ran out of the base. 

“Nice one, Si!” I said. 

After all the guards ran out of the base, we sneaked inside the base. We ran through twists and turns until we reached the main control room. 

“Look at all the tech!” Said Jonah. To Silas, this is his good spot. He’s more of a tech guy than me. I looked at Silas. Or where Silas used to be. He was already hacking in on one of the computers. Boy, Silas is fast. How to be Silas: 1. Be fast 2. Get a big brain 3. Use it to make an awesome plan. 

I walked over to Silas.

“And, done!” He said. 

“That was quick!” breathed Gavin as if he had been holding his breath expecting Silas to do something wrong. And he did. Because at that moment an alarm blared out of the speakers in the room. 

“They caught us!” said Zeagan. But nobody ran in the base. Instead, small holes appeared in the walls and water came out of them.

 “I can’t swim!” whined Levi. 

Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Levi’s here? Y’know, Levi has a good power of staying invisible. Not literally. 

“You’re here?” asked Jonah. “I thought you had to cook!” 

“I was with you the whole time!” said Levi.

 “Okay?” said Silas. 

While we were talking the water rose up to our ankles. Then a big screen appeared on the wall. It had the numbers 0:10:59. Then it started counting down.

 “What is it?” wondered Gavin. 

“It’s a bomb!”said Silas. 

Let’s go to an easier perspective: Silas’s brain. 

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” I said to Jack Shuler, my best friend. He nodded. We both dived down deep into the water. As I tried to ply out the screen Jack found a metal bar to ply the screen off. 

We both ripped off the screen. I gave a thumbs up to Jack and he swam back to the surface while I worked on the cables. The green cable must stop it! I thought. But where is the other green cable? I ripped off the covering with all the cables and under it was another covering with no cables except a green cable. A green cable! I connected the green cable with the other green cable and guess what? The water went down as fast as a worm falling in a hole. We all hugged and sqeezed and laughed.

Now let’s go back to Jack’s perspective. We all hugged and sqeezed and laughed. Except we weren’t okay. The water went down but the bomb did not stop. Then the bomb said 00:00:01. Except it wasn’t a bomb. The whole building was falling down. 

“Run!!!!!!” I shouted. 

Everybody ran. We all got out of the building safely. I counted just to be sure. “Gavin,” I said “we are missing Gavin!” I looked at the crumpled building. Just before I burst into tears a big silver plackyatallagone burst up from the rubble and on its back was Gavin. 

“Gavin!” We all shouted. 

“Hop on!” Said Gavin. So we did. It was like riding a giant dog. We rode until we arrived at THE DARKNESS’s volcano.

VIII. The Uddercrats, Again!

 We all hopped off the plackyatallagone and then Gavin said, “Return!” And the silver ball returned to it’s normal shape. 

 “How are we going to get all the way up there?” said Jonah, looking all the way up to the top of the flaming volcano where THE DARKNESS castle lay. 

 “We climb.” said Levi.

 “Are you crazy?” said Jonah. 

“Crazy is my middle name.” replied Levi. 

 “Really?” asked Jonah.

 “Really.” said Levi. “Levi Crazy McClellan. Plus an extra craze.”

 “Let’s just climb!!” I said. 

So we did. It was hard finding footing at first but it got easier because of the jagged rocks sticking out of the hot volcano. Nothing hit us except a couple falling pebbles. But about a quarter to halfway up the volcano it started spewing ashes. An ember caught on Jonahs backside although he did not notice. Then it started a flame. And it got bigger and bigger and bigger. 

“Dude, your butt’s on fire.” I said. 

“Ha, ha, very funny!” said Jonah, continuing his climb. 

“Hey, is something biting me?” he asked. We all laughed. 

“This isn’t funny, guys!” he said. 

We found a ledge under some rocks where we could rest and eat and sleep. My life routine used to be eat, sleep, repeat. Now since we are on this quest, it is  walk, face enemies, repeat. Then a voice interrupted my thoughts. It was not the voice of Silas, Jonah, Gavin, Zeagan, or Levi. It was the voice of the Uddercrats, again. I was getting annoyed at these people. If you can even call them people, anyway. And plus, how did they get up here? It would take them FOREVER to climb up here. Then I saw it. They had a cannon at the base of the volcano.

“Uh, guys? The Uddercrats are here!” I said.  

Silas looked down. Jonah looked down. In fact, everybody was looking down. 

The cannon was not shooting cannonballs; it was shooting uddercrats straight at us. 

Well, not really. Remember I told you that the Uddercrats had really bad aim? Well they do. Every time they shot that cannon they missed. Sounds of Uddercrats slamming into the volcano filled my ears. If we could keep up with this, the Uddercrats would be gone in no time. 

But the Uddercrat holding the cannon got a lucky shot. He shot an Uddercrat right up to our ledge. The Uddercrat was holding a knife.

“Yo, evil monkey!” Said Jonah. 

“What did you call me?” The Uddercrat said in a raspy voice. 

Gavin joined in. “Hey, stinky feet, when was the last time you took a shower?”

 I could see where this was going. 

“Hey Mr. Cheese Butt, are you mozzarella or cheddar?” Asked Zeagan.