There once was a man who was obsessed with ham. He would get a ham any day of the week.

One day he headed to a store that he had never been to before; in fact, no one had been to this store. It had opened just that day.

"He had read about the owners in the newspaper the day before, and they had no experience with handling a store."

"Anyway, he just arrived at the new store and he was going to buy a mouth-watering ham (of course). He rushed inside and bought the first thing he saw that said ham."

"When he got home, he smothered the ham in lard, rolled the ham in 1/2 a pound of salt, cooked the ham and tried it out. It was the most DELICIOUS HAM HE HAD EVER TASTED!!!"