Recap

Remember us? Yep! It's good old Blacknice and Redness! Last time we solved three challenges, had an epic battle, and fended off the Universe Destroyer! 

    Let me talk, Blacknice! Yes that was true.

    WAS?!

    Is. 

    Better.

    Finally! You should know that there is a lot of that at our castle. Here are some other facts: We are the rulers of the universe, have two mortal enemies, and have our own castle where we rule the universe.

    And that's the end of the recap!

      Chapter 1: Redness: The Beginning

I was walking along the sidewalk with Blacknice when we saw explosions in the sky! We flew up to see what they were, and they were an attack! We stopped them in their tracks, one of the perks of being the ruler of the universe. They had stopped, for now.

    Later when we were at the castle eating dinner, we had a conversation.

    "So," one of the kids said. "I heard there were explosions on your walk? Care to explain?"
    "Yes, they were an attack, from an unknown enemy." I said. "Please don't tell me that it was the Universe Destroyer again." George said. "It wasn't the Universe

Destroyer, it was someone else." Blacknice said.

    "It was someone much more powerful, and it was your mortal enemies," came a startling voice from behind them, "it was us, your old friends."

    Everyone's heads turned to face the voice, and it was a hologram, a hologram of their worst enemies of all time, Caterpillar, and Doo Doo.

    "You can't send holograms from the prisoning universe! That was ruled out trillions of years ago!" I said. 

    "We have escaped the prisoning universe." Doo Doo said.

    "Oh." I said.

    "The reason why we have warred upon you, is

because we are tired of you ruling us, which means we came up with a plan, a rather terrible plan!" Caterpillar said.

    "We can send you back to the prisoning universe!" Blacknice said. "Nice try, Blacknice, but you cannot do such thing. We have Kriptitoen wrist bands, which means that your powers are useless against us." Caterpillar said. "Oh, and that reminds me! When we destroy your universe and create our universe, you will be apart of our prisoning universe! That way you will be saying 'curse you, Caterpillar and Doo Doo!' instead of us crying 'curse you, Blacknice and Redness!" 

   The war had begun, which meant that we need to get

supplies for war.

                                              ...

We were in our spaceship, heading for my planet. Luckily it had wifi, (unlike Blacknice's planet, that's one of the things that I can't stand about her planet).

    After we landed, it was a long walk to the weapons shop. The shop was called: 'War, War, WAR! (supplies)' 

    "Okay," I said. "What kind of war supplies do you have?"

    "We have the whole collection." The guy who ran the store said, strangely.

    We got the usual stuff. You know, launchers, lasers, a couple Boom-Boom-KABOOM sets. Although, we might need more spaceships, you know, for our followers. 

    "Okay," I said, as Blacknice loaded the stuff in the shopping cart. "We have all the stuff we need, can we proceed to checkout?"

    "Of course." The owner of the store said. "But you might want to be careful, Blacknice and Redness. Because," he grabbed a Kriptotowen laser and pointed it right at both Blacknice and me. (Incase you either forgot or didn't read BLACKNICE AND REDNESS, Kriptotowen is our only weakness.)

    "Are you with Caterpillar and Doo Doo?" I said.

   "Of course they are, you *******!" Blacknice screamed in my face.

    "You forgot something, Blacknice, we are Caterpillar and Doo Doo!" Just as he said that, he tossed another Kriptotowen laser at Doo Doo, right as Doo Doo came up from the counter. 

    "It's your old friends." Doo Doo said cooly.

    "We were never your friends." I said.

    "He was being sarcastic." Blacknice said in a mocking tone. "I knew that." I said. 

    *me sitting on a chair in a blank white room.*

    "I didn't, but I would never tell Blacknice."

    *back to reality*

    "Blacknice, send them back to the Prisoning Universe!" 

    "Why can't you do it?!?"

    "I'm busy!"

    "With what?"

    "FINE!"

    "I despise to interrupt, but none of you can send us back to the Prisoning Universe, " Caterpillar said, "we're wearing Kriptotowen shackles on our arms and legs."

    "Okay Caterpillar," Doo Doo said. "FIRE!"

    From then on it was a game of tag. Kriptotowen laser beams were flying everywhere, Blacknice, the crew, and me were all dodging lasers! (Literally.)

    "You have to get tired sometime!" Doo Doo screamed.

We're the rulers of the universe!" Blacknice said. "If anyone's getting tired, it's you! And as a side note, if those weren't Kriptotowen laser beams we would stop them in our tracks!"

    The lasers kept coming, and they wouldn't stop as  long as Caterpillar and Doo Doo sill had the lasers.

   I had to do a sneak attack. What I would do is I would teleport behind them, startle them, and they'll drop their lasers!

    It was time to activate my plan.

    I hid behind a shelf, trying to avoid the laser beams, I teleported behind them, and right as they turned around, and screamed: "BOO!!"

    Instead of the response I expected, they turned  around and pointed the lasers right at me, so I teleported right behind them, again, and grabbed the lasers right out of their hands. 

    As soon as I had the lasers in my hands, Caterpillar and Doo Doo spun around to grab them.

    As soon as I grabbed them, it felt like fire was spreading across my arms. The pain was so bad, I threw the lasers straight into the air, to land on Blacknice's face.

    "YOU *****!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURT?!?! YOU ARE THE ******* PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE!!!" Blacknice screamed in absolute rage.

    "That was unnecessary!" I yelled to Blacknice.

    "Well it hurt!!" Blacknice screamed in my face. 

    "Let's just knock Caterpillar and Doo Doo out." I said.

    "Yeah," Blacknice said, "that sounds like a good idea."

    We made our stuff come back to us, then we were going to knock Caterpillar and Doo Doo out with a stick that I saw outside as we were coming in.

    "Okay everybody," Blacknice said. "We are going outside for a couple of seconds, don't let Caterpillar and Doo Doo get out of your sight, got it?"

    "Got it." Everyone said.

   We walked outside to get the stick, but it took longer than expected. 

    We got outside and I grabbed the stick, than it got really strange. 

    "Why did you throw that laser in my face?" Blacknice said.

    "When I grabbed the laser, which was made of Kriptotowen by the way, was super painful, so I threw it in the air, and it accidentally hit you in the face. Does that sound like a reasonable reason why that laser hit you in the face?"

    "Nope."

    "Why not?"

    "Because it makes you sound like you are making a random story up to make you sound like you 

'accidentally' threw that laser in my face!"

    "Why are you using air quotes around accidentally?"

    "Because you threw that laser in my face on purpose!"

    "NO, I DID NOT!!!"

    "FINE!!!"

    "Okay Blacknice, did it hurt like mad when the laser hit you on the face?"

    "YES!!!"

    "It hurt just as much when I touched it, so it was an accident when that laser hit you in the face!"

    "Oh, sorry. I guess we should knock out Caterpillar and Doo Doo now."

    "We should."

    Blacknice and I walked in the shop ready to knock out Caterpillar and Doo Doo, but we came to a surprise.

    "What happened?" I asked.

    "I don't know!" Blacknice said.

    That surprise that Blacknice and I walked into was that everyone was, well, gone.

          Name: Doo Doo

                                      Spices: Unknown

          Power level: 

          infinity

                                       * Friend of 

          Caterpillar

          and Redness's

          mortal enemy 

          because he 

          pooped on

          Redness's face.

      Chapter 2: Blacknice: The Collecting

    "Okay, that's it!" I said, "Caterpillar and Doo Doo have to go!"

    "I don't think that's possible," Redness said, "as you know they are immortal, just like us. So like I said before, that's not possible."

    "Where's the space ship?" I asked Redness.

    "It should be behind the store." Redness replied.

    We walked behind the store, to find that the space ship was gone too.

    "It's one thing to take our crew and kids, but now they have to steal our space ship? THAT'S. NOT. COOL!!" I screamed in fury.

    "Uh-huh." Redness said as he was staring into his phone as if his life depended on it. "Wait -- what were  you talking about?"

   "Really, you're so self-involved in your phone that you can't pay attention to this conversation."

    "Yes."

    "COME O-- wait a minute, if you have a phone than that means that we can call for a space ship, we can get out  of this barren desert without a building in miles, get a new ship, buy a fleet, hire an army, AND DEFEAT CATERPILLAR AND DOO DOO!!!"

    Redness dialed the spuber.

    "Yes, yes, uh-huh, I have a couple tera-bucks on me.

Yes, yes, just a second." He covered the mic with his  hand and whispered to me: "which planet are we on?"

    "We're on planet 039-AB1-77f/9." I replied back.

    "I'm on planet 039-AB1-77f/9." Redness said as he   took his hand off the mic. "Yes, yes, goodbye."

    "They're going to be here in 39 minutes and 12 seconds." Redness said.

    "That's a weirdly specific time." I replied

    "Well, that is the way they run, spuber always has a very specific time, and they're never wrong about it.  Once I called spuber and they said that it would take 2 hours 29 minutes and 43 seconds."

    "I don't ever remember you using spuber."

    "It was a couple trillion years ago, so we hadn't met yet."

    "Oh."

    It actually did take a total of 39 minutes and 12 seconds. I was quite impressed by the sheer  randomness of that number, and they managed to get here as they said they would.

    Redness could never know that I was impressed by the time that it took them to arrive, he would never let it go.

    Redness and I walked into the spuber, and sat down in our passenger seats.

    "Okay," Redness said to the driver, "take us to planet Hiilon!"

    "As you command, Lord Redness." The driver replied.

   After the driver put the destination in the navigation system, the console started speaking: "Estimated time is," it had a loading sign the the word calculating next to it, "1 hour, 47 minutes and 26 seconds."

    And we were off.

                                              ...

    After that 1 hour 47 minutes and 26 seconds, we got off the ship at Space Bay Fleet. 

    It looked like your average space dock, you know,  ports for the space ships, the Buy Center.

    We walked on over to the Buy Center

    "Hello," Redness said, "we are looking to buy the XX10 Space Hero."

    "Okay, I'll take you to it." The guy said.

    So we walked over to the Space Ship Center. (Where we got the ship.) What a magnificent ship, it had a fancy gold coating, green vegan caterpillar seats, a fancy 18" diagonal touchscreen console.

    "We have this model, but there's a new generation of models, it's the XY1 Space Warrior Ultra, and it's only a couple tera-bucks more than the XX10 Space Hero." The guy said.

   "Does it have the same seat color, and the same gold 

coding?" Redness said. "Because Blacknice really likes those filters."

    "Yes we do, and the console has an even larger size, 20" and 24" diagonal touchscreen."

    "I would like the 24" diagonal touchscreen." I said.

    "Okay, and part of the XY1 Space Warrior Ultra, it has the S15-Infinity chip, it has 4000 Core CPU and a 5000 Core GPU, but there is an upgrade with a 7500 Core CPU and  a 10000 Core GPU."

    "I would like the upgrade." I replied

    "Okay, the price is 15 tera-bucks, 200 Giga-bucks, 750 mega-bucks, and 900 kilo-bucks. Are you ready to purchase?"

   "Yes, we are ready to purchase." Redness and I replied.

   The second that we said yes, the transaction came out of the Bank of the Universe account.

    So we walked inside of our brand new space ship.

    "Let's hire a fleet now." Redness said. "You can look for one."

    "Why am I looking?"

    "Because I'm going to fly."

    "WHERE?"

    "To Ortha."

    "Why? You despise that planet because it has no wi-fi."

    "There are pretty strong armies on Ortha, and while you were looking for armies online I could be flying to

Ortha."

    So I looked for armies online, and there were tons, but not very good ones. Here, I'll give you some of the names: Poop Squad, Dynamite Dinos, Terrifying T-Rexes, War Warriors, Universe Protectors, (which, by the way have not won very many wars. Once they were fighting  in the universe where humans used to live and well, I said used to live...).

    It took a while to find Ortha, probably because it has forbidden itself from all GPSs, which means that it looks like a pocket of space. (Some other space ships have crashed into the 'pocket of space'.) But finally we arrived at Ortha.

    What a nature planet, lush forests, blue rivers, waterfalls, lakes, oceans, everything nature related really.

Sure, there are some small towns but they were mostly  in the forest.

    We landed in the universal dock, where all the space ships from the universe come in.

    "Hello?" I said, "we are looking for some very strong armies, what armies do you have that are off duty right now?"

    "We have the Universe Warriors, which by the way are much better than the Universe Protectors. Those are pretty much the only army that is off duty right now."  The person said to us.

    "Can we hire the Universe Warriors?" Redness asked.

    "Yes you can, I will just need to call them first." The person replied to Redness.

    It was about fifteen minutes after the person walked away and said that the Universe Warriors were armed and ready.

   "They will be here in 4 hours." The person said.

    After the person left, I got a message. It read: Hello, Blacknice and Redness. We just want you to know, we've taken your team hostage. So unless you want your friends back, you need to win this war! Which, by the way, we will win, so don't you dare get your hopes up!! Your old enemies, Caterpillar and Doo Doo.

    I typed back: When does this "war that you will win" start? Because We have an army coming in six hours.   So, if you want to win this war, you better start early. After all, the one who starts in the race first wins.

    "What did you type on that phone exactly?" Redness asked me.

    I recited what I wrote to Caterpillar and Doo Doo to Redness. He looked utterly horrified.

    "Why would you tell them to start the war early? Now they are probably going to start the war in three hours! And if they start the war in three hours, the war would have already started, which basically means that they have already have won the war! Which also means that

our universe would be destroyed! That. Is. Very. Very. BAD!!!"

    After a long and very loud lecture on how to win a war, I think that my eardrums have properly burst. PS: Don't worry, our eardrums grow back within a millisecond.

    I'm pretty sure that the talk was approximately four hours, because when I looked up there was a fleet of space ships floating right above our heads.

    "Are you the Universe Warriors?" Redness asked.

    "Yes we are," one of the people said to us. "And we are here to fight for freedom!"

    "I love your enthusiasm, but we are battling Caterpillar and Doo Doo, the most powerful super-villains of them

all." Redness said.

    "Yes, we understand, and our military is second to none."

    Looks like they might be able to help us. I mean they seem great, but Caterpillar and Doo Doo are extremely powerful, almost as powerful as Redness and I. I just hope that we don't lose this war, because that would be very bad.

    "Okay everyone, it's time to attack!" I say.

          Name:Caterpillar

          Power level: 

          infinity

          *Friend of Doo 

                                       Doo and enemy 

          of Blacknice 

          because he 

          squished a 

          caterpillar.