My name is Max Bones Peterson. You may be wondering how I’m writing this even though I’m a dog, but we don’t ask questions around here. Nothing really happened today. I just did my usual routine; Wake up, eat, sleep, play, eat, play, sleep, annoy, bark, eat, sleep, repeat. I guess it’s also worth mentioning that my first day of doggy daycare is tomorrow. Well, Cya Diary, Max

Dear diary, my first day of doggy daycare was horrible! First, I was late for drop off. Next, this dog named Francis snapped at me for touching “her” toy when she didn’t buy it. Afterwards, she smacked her big tail in my face making me fall back on a pile of dog poop. Talk about gross. Then she trotted away like nothing happened. That girl is so two-faced.

No offense, hon, but this is a premium 323$ Shlondike toy and I don’t think you can afford a replacement.

Everyone laughed at me for falling in another dog’s waste. For the rest of the day, everyone called me DooDoo Dog. So unfair! I wish my owner, Courtney were there. She would’ve made sure no one bullied me. Oh! I almost forgot. At lunch, we had my least favorite meal in the entire galaxy of the world: Pea Casserole. Yuck! I still ate it, though. I didn’t want to starve. :(

When I got home, the first thing I wanted to do was take a nap. But of course, Courtney’s annoying baby brother wanted to play fetch. If I had hands, I would slap the sucker. Luckily, there’s one place in the house he can’t go; under the couch. So I camped under there until dinner time.

Dear Diary, I’ve learned that revenge is sweet, but natural karma is pure honey! Today at doggy daycare, Francis came In with the Cone of Shame. Duh duh duuuuh. She couldn’t really see well, which gave me the opportunity to play with the toy she didn’t let me play with. “Beagle Boy, is that my expensive toy?” She asked me. I’m not a liar, but I said no, so, HA!

My doggy daycare reputation is also starting to turn around as well. During lunch, we had my absolute most favorite thing in the galaxy of the universe; sausage, beans, and rice. :)

when I was chowing down, I noticed everyone looking at Francis. One big dog turned to me and said, “I guess your bully got karma.” I couldn’t screw this up. A bulldog was talking to me! “Yea,” I said, “it feels good. Like belly rubs good.” And that’s really good.

Dear diary, today a new dog was at doggy daycare. And she was beautiful; her corgi fur, her hazel eyes, and her in general. She makes me wanna….aaaaaaahhh. That was me screaming. I don’t know, but I think I’m in love with her. I don’t know her name, but I need to impress her. However, today was outdoor day, so I was running around instead of making my crush notice me. :(

Luckily, we had dry dog food for lunch, so, that’s good. Good luck for me, Max

Dear diary, Francis gets her cone off tomorrow, but  I don’t think she deserves it. That’s why I have a plan; I’m going to take her toy before she gets there and make sure she can’t get her paws on it. That will make her feel really mad, but I couldn’t care less about the joker. I didn’t do it today because I wasn’t there. Courtney and her annoying brother were off of school, so yay for me. Sadly, her brother, Liam, kept touching my ears so I almost bit his hand. I don’t know why he acts like that, even though he’s 9 and in the 3rd grade.

Good ears 👂 

Dear Diary, my crush finally noticed me! During lunch time, we were having wet dog food. Yuck! But then, she sat next to me! “I’m Cupcake,” she said to me. I was speechless. The prettiest looking dog decided to speak to me! “I’m Max Bones Peterson,” I replied, “but you can call me Max.”

She looked down at my still full bowl. “Are you gonna eat that?” She asked me, “heck no,” I responded, “wet food is even worse than earthworm soup.” A cheeky grin appeared on Cupcake’s face, “I know where we can get some good food,” she whispered, “but we gotta sneak there and stay quiet.” Honestly, I was down for anything. Wet food is worse than pea casserole.

“So basically, we need to sneak into the kitchen and get any food we can get our paws on.” She explained, “Whatever you say,” I exclaimed, excited for my mission. “Don’t think this makes us friends, though. If anything, we’re just comrades,”

She said, “now follow me.” We managed to sneak into the kitchen and saw food galore. There were things like jam, bread, cheese, sausage, and ham. “Quickly!”  Cupcake whisper-shouted. I grabbed four slices of mozzarella cheese and 2 sausages before leaving. “Let’s feast,” Cupcake said. Finally, something I’m good at.