His Mother was ugly, his father was ugly, but Shrek was the ugliest, making him uglier than the two of them, put together. When was was just a tot, he could breath blue fire, as the snakes hissed in front of him, they were scared of him, and the other reptiles too.

One day, when he was a teenager, his parents found it was time for him to leave the blaxk hole, where he was hatched, and his parents kicked goodbye, as he set off for the road.

Shrek went to town, there people hid to their homes, but shrek had no problem, walking down the road. He strolled down the street, and hummed a little tune.

In the darkest wood, he came upon a witch who was busy boiling bats in bleach and turtle juice, and while she stirred, she crooned:

This is the way I cook my bats, Stir my bats, taste my bats. Season my bats in the morning: Stew and brew and chew my bats. Diddle and Fiddle and Faddle my bats, Early in the morning! WHAT A LOVELY SONG! SHREK CRENCHED, THE WITCH SAW HIM, AND SHE WAS PLEASED.

WHEN SHE RECOVERED, SHREK SAID MAY YOU TELL ME MY FORTUNE, AND I'll give you some of my rare lice. The witch said Here's your fortune:

Hop on one foot, and scratch an itch, pay attention to this witch, A donkey takes you to a knight, him you conquer in a fight, then you wed a princess who is as ugly as you, Ha Ha Ha, and Cock a doodle! The magic words are Apple Strudel! A Princess! Shrek said.

Soon, Shrek encountered a farmer, You there, Varlet, said Shrek, Why so Blithe?  The farmer responded: I'm happy sewing in the rye, I never stop to wonder why. I'll hone and sew until i die, But I'm just busy, so Goodbye.

Yokel! Shrek squealed. I have your Pheasant, that's so pleasant, A Pleasant Present. The last thing the last thing the farmer saw before he fainted, was Shrek's grin before warming up dinner.

Wherever Shrek went, people and animals were timid, and stood there whimpering.

Suddenly, a large dragon appeared in Shrek's way, but Shrek battled it to the death with his Laser vision.

The dragon was unconscious after being knocked out by Shrek's Laser eyes, and Shrek was Proud.

An hour later, Shrek was unconscious, He felt he was in a land, where kids smothered him with love, and flowers grew, Shrek woke up screaming like a Small child and ran.

Shrek went out on the fields, and what did he see.. but a donkey, and he said the magic words Apple Strudel! The donkey said I gaze in the green, as I graze in the green, I'm a donkey, seeking a clover, I'm an endless chewing chomping Rover. Quiet! said Shrek, You Jabbering Jack Ass, Take me to the castle so I can meet my Princess, Now Take!

So the donkey with skinny legs took Shrek to the castle, to fight the knight and wed his Princess.

Said Shrek to the knight Who's in the armor guarding the castle

A fearless knight, within the armor said the knight.

It's time to wed my princess said Shrek.

Over my dead Body Roared Shrek, Over your dead body said the Knight.