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     Jack and Jill went up a hill, carrying a pail of 

water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, while 

Jill snapped a photo of him and and posted it on 

Instagram.

   Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty 

Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses 

and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty 

together again, so they ordered pizza from the 

nearest Pizza Hut.

    There was an old woman who lived in a 

shoe. She had so many children that she didn't 

know what to do. She gave them some broth 

and a big slice of bread. Kissed them all soundly, 

and sent them to bed. Of course, they stayed up 

all night watching Modern Family on their 

Plasma TV.

   Jack Spratt could eat no fat, his wife could eat 

no lean. And so betwixt them both, you see, they 

licked their platters clean. Soon After, Mrs. Spratt 

started the Weight Watchers program, and Jack 

got lessons from you-know-who (Mrs. Spratt) on 

the importance of couch potatoes. 

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