To my mom who helped me edit my story from good to great

I was so excited to be going to San Diego at last. My family was going to go on a cruise after spending three days on the beach. We had planned the trip thirteen months ago! Our flight left from Philadelphia at 10:40pm so we would be staying up late to get on our red eye. We boarded our flight like civilized people on the outside, but crazy monkeys on the inside due to our excitement.
After about 80 minutes of our three hour flight we heard news.
“Our computer systems are down, and we will be landing in what we believe to be St. Louis.” I was so disappointed that I almost cried. As we landed, the plane was a dark shadow reclining through the sky. SCREEEEEECH! We landed at St. Louis International airport.
The next day we were scheduled to fly out of St. Louis, but my younger brother was feeling under the weather and we couldn’t fly. Two days after the emergency landing we were ready to fly to San Diego. As I stepped outside I noticed the summer weather was way warmer than the freezing temperatures I had heard about in the winter. St Louis which is part of the the deciduous forest has a range of between 120 degrees Fahrenheit and -40 Fahrenheit! That is the largest range of any biome.
We were on our flight at last! I was accustomed to being on an airline that gave out free snacks, but this flight we were on Delta so it was going to be the worst 2 hours of my life. An hour into the flight we heard the pilot speaking.
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To my mom who helped me edit my story from good to great

I was so excited to be going to San Diego at last. My family was going to go on a cruise after spending three days on the beach. We had planned the trip thirteen months ago! Our flight left from Philadelphia at 10:40pm so we would be staying up late to get on our red eye. We boarded our flight like civilized people on the outside, but crazy monkeys on the inside due to our excitement.
After about 80 minutes of our three hour flight we heard news.
“Our computer systems are down, and we will be landing in what we believe to be St. Louis.” I was so disappointed that I almost cried. As we landed, the plane was a dark shadow reclining through the sky. SCREEEEEECH! We landed at St. Louis International airport.
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