From a young age, I had always loved performing. I was constantly anticipating my next show, or choir concert. It had been a part of me since I was in pre-school.

I loved cooking, and being active with my hands, and I constantly surrounded myself with friends. I always made an effort.

Which is why - when it happened, it practically sucked me into a void of confusion.

I didn't understand what was going on until it was too late. I was slowly drowning in a new, unknown mental state.

I didn't know that I had it for a long time. I had waves of wanting to be inactive, sadness, and/or apathy through out my whole life, but I never thought anything of it.

Or at least, not until the summer before Sophomore year. I was suddenly so much angrier, easily irritated, and anytime that someone offered to hang out, I never wanted to. I stayed on my couch the entire month.

It wasn't until months later, in early November - I was sitting in my room, scrolling through social media. I saw a picture of an old friend from my childhood, and I felt a pressure build in my chest and every emotion that I missed out on during that time came rushing over me. I instantly started crying, and that's when I decided I needed to get help.

See, as a student, I never learned about depression beyond that most people who committed suicide had it. I never learned how people got it, or why. Before I could even go to the doctor, I knew I needed to do my own research to depression and myself.

What is it?

Depression - a mental disorder that affects the personality and overall state of a person.

* Caused by chemical imbalances in the brain, stress, genetics, or environmental factors

Symptoms

Feeling sad or having a depressed mood

Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed

Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting

Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

Loss of energy or increased fatigue

Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech (actions observable by others)

Feeling worthless or guilty

Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions

Thoughts of death or suicide

Treatments