The Champions Unite

Atop the lookout post

Is the Chief of Gerudo

Wearing the Thunder Helm,

When lightning struck she never fell

And inside the camel humps

Of Naboris, they looked like stumps,

A puzzle awaited you

Magnesis balls, not one, but two

And deep inside Ruta’s insides

The Ganon killed you seven times

But when you go to Thunderblight,

Get ready for your hardest fight

He shoots, he smacks, he is the Flash

With lightning powers he must dash 

And with his spikes you will get smashed

If you don’t Magnesis during the flash

And Revali soared through the sky

To Windblight, just to fight and die

And in his midst, Urbosa came

To kill the boss and get the fame

Urbosa died and Mipha cried

Daruk screamed “HELP!” and Mipha sighed

As Windblight carried out the might

The smite, for yes, he was a blight.

He watched as four explosions boomed

Calamity was dying soon

And Link stood there with Master Sword

And threw Calamity onto a board

The Master Sword was out of power

Its pedestal was out of flowers

And with Calamity’s final wish

The heroes as his final dish

Urbosa was revived by Mipha

Revali soon soared into the air

The Champions once again were united

And happiness was everywhere

And Urbosa furied Windblight

And Mipha attacked Windblight

And Revali galed Windblight

And Daruk smashed Windblight

Link ran into the main room

And Windblight went over and loomed

When Windblight was low

Link delivered the final blow

Sitting on Cloud Nine 

Everything was fine

Blue Bokoblins fled 

And they knew they were dead

Fighting past the enemy

Stepping on an anemone

They galed across Rito Village

The Bokoblin setup they pillaged

Calamity exploded,

Hyrule Castle was corroded,

And since it was all coded,

It almost imploded.

The malice disappeared

The Divine Beasts reared

And in a self-destruct

From Urbosa’s conduct,

The war was over

Ganon was dead

Hinox exploded

And the Bokoblins fled.

Ode To A Lynel Battle

Take a few shock arrrows

And shoot a few good sparrows

And eat some hearty stuff

That will make you tough

I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE A VOE!

Above you is a blue foe

And so, and so

And so, and so 

Fight a Lynel

You are mine-le

Everything is fine-le

When the stupid Lynel

Take a shot of mine-le

Shoots it in its wine-le

Now I have no time-le

Prickle as a pine-le

Now I have no time-le

Fighting with a Lynel

Take a few shock arrows

And shoot a few good sparrows

And eat some hearty stuff

That will make you tough

I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE A VOE!

Above you is a blue foe

And so, and so

And so, and so 

I don’t know 

Where I go

To and fro

Climb out

Of the Gatehouse

Screaming in pain

Your clothes dyed red

By your blood

Take a few shock arrows

And shoot a few good sparrows

And eat some hearty stuff

That will make you tough

I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE A VOE!

Above you is a blue foe

And so, and so

And so, and so 

When I fight it

I might smite it

Can I bite it

It’s a glutton

When I press my button 

To release

The meat!

Fight a Lynel

You are mine-le

Everything is fine-le

Shivers up your spine-le

When the stupid Lynel

Take a shot of mine-le

Shoots it in its wine-le

Now I have no time-le

Prickle as a pine-le

Now I have no time-le

Fighting with a Lynel

And shoot a few good sparrows

And eat some hearty stuff

That will make you tough

I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE A VOE!

Above you is a blue foe

And so, and so

And so, and so 

And so, and so

And so, and so 

Bokoblins

Bokoblins are walking down the muddy path

Waiting for a man in phantom armor gonna kill ‘em like a psychopath

Will they ever learn to escape their fate

Pictured by an ancient Sheikah Slate

Steak is cooking, roasted on an open fire

When they hear the Master Sword equipped the situation’s dire

The men that striped in gold get their clubs and hurry

Only to get stunned by a quick Urbosa’s Fury

Bokoblins are presented in red

And blue, silver, white, black, and gold, well said

They sit and talk about all the stuff Ganon said

Then they hear the sword equip, two seconds and the red

Are laying on the ground next to the blue

They ran like chickens, “YOU TOO!” 

Cried Link and with a swipe the black were dead

The silver formed a powerful barricade for the space

And in a second half the men were laying on their bloody face

The golden men pounded and the Hylian ran

They soon found themselves west of the Akkala Span

And with a swipe a golden man was lying on the ground

And then the foe made do with the Stone Smasher that he found

And then Link soared into the air with major injuries from the Bokoblin’s pound

He made sure to keep fighting till the Boko was on the ground

And as the Blood Moon rose, the dead Bokoblins did the same 

(Do you think Bokoblins blew up that Notre Dame?)

And Link knew what to do to get that Boko on the ground

But the strength to do the final hit he seemingly never found

Until the Gold Bokoblin went and turned in for the night

And Link unequipped the Master Sword, ending the plight

And right after he saw his good Stone Smasher break

He stealthily snuck in the place for the prize: seared steak.

But he forgot about the other Bokos stealthily sneaking like quadrupeds

And Link was eating when they just attacked and he was finally dead

Stalnox Claymores

When you fight a Lynel make it soar into the sky

And make it die, fall down the sky

And it explodes when you finally found out

That it was a Savage Lynel and you missed a chance to get

A shield that killed a foe when you parried

And a weapon stronger than the sword that seals the darkness

Eating hearty mushrooms on Shatterback Point 

With a Lynel horn sticking out of your pocket

You can still see Daruk with his fear of dogs

And you can fight a Bokoblin with a few

Stalnox claymores

I don’t know why they break so easily 

And I can see them shatter

And I can see them cry for help

Dying on the ground

I can feel the rain pouring down on me

I can feel the lava of Goron City

But I am in Gerudo so what gives?

Then the air burns 

I can see a Savage Lynel charging at me and I use my

Stalnox claymores

I don’t know why they break so easily 

And I can see them shatter

And I can see them cry for help



Stalnox claymores

I don’t know why they break so easily 

And I can see them shatter

And I can see them cry for help

Midnight Moblins

Midnight Moblins

Attacking your Link and you say

I got some Midnight Moblins

Runnin’ around with the Guardian Scout

And the Guardian sentry takes up his entry

And make a red laser, two seconds you’re dead

Midnight Moblins attacking your Link and you say

I got some Midnight Moblins runnin’ around with the Guardian Scout

And the Guardian sentry takes up his entry and makes a red laser, two seconds you’re dead

I can see the light of the Bow of Light

Shining on the other side of a glitched game

The towers are broken and I don’t know why

Maybe it’s because of the 

Midnight Moblins

Attacking your Link and you say

I got some Midnight Moblins

Runnin’ around with the Guardian Scout

And the Guardian sentry takes up his entry

And make a red laser, two seconds you’re dead

Eleven Moblins circle around Hyrule Castle

I don’t know why they’re there

Eleven Moblins, Eventide Island, Hyrule Castle,

Guardian sentry takes up his entry and makes a red laser, two seconds you’re dead

Stasis (The Rune and the Shrine)

When Stasis was unlocked

We all screamed

As the world was frozen

And it was deemed unplayable

And I know what was evil

Stasis; the rune and the shrine

When I saw the Remote Bombs

Set off and break the game

Then the spikes around the shrine

Burst into eternal flame

And I wondered why

Until I figured it out 

And I know what was evil

Stasis; the rune and the shrine

Figuring out the sound of Magnesis

Activating and going big-time

If you only exotic Lynels Ganon battle fight fight fight

Seeing diamonds watching far

I need the rupees so I can

Buy the armor, by the Gorons

Sitting in the burning land

And I know what was evil

Stasis; the rune and the shrine

I’m talking to you, Owa Daim

Stasis, the rune and the shrine

Hebra Peak Zero Jump

Hebra Peak zero jump

Snowfield Moblin

Bokoblins on Faron

With Farosh as windshield

Dinraal’s falling off the Great Plateau

Horns and claws and scales of red, what do you know?

Lanayru Peak horse jump

Past a small obstacle

Endura carrot diamond with a rupee sapphire

Revali in Waterblight flinging Naboris 

Past Eldin with a Goron whose name was Doris

And I’m watching as Riju and the Yiga start a fight

And the Yiga send out their best boss, Windblight

And Ganon eats Bokoblins for Zelda’s best dinner

Who is Link, who is Zelda, who is the winner?

And as Naydra fell from the sky Maz Koshia

In a pita of rupees and some Goron spice

Beat the heck out of Kohga as Zelda retreated

Link was fighting Vah Ruta as a waterspout

And Zelda had nothing to do, one hundred twenty-two

I knew it from you, Magnesis is a rune

Hebra Peak zero jump

Snowfield Moblin

Bokoblins on Faron