Sunday

Hey there- I’m Jack Creltoy. To start off, I have to say one thing:- I’m only writing in this corny diary because my parents forced me to. To be honest, I hate writing. So, whoever you are reading this, I hope you like it. 

Monday

Today Mom made me wash the dishes again. She makes me do it every single day because she says she does “lots of work” and “deserves” a break. But that’s just an excuse. She really only spends an hour doing ACTUAL work and spends the rest of the day on her computer, talking to her friends and family on her phone, or going out and shopping. 

Later that day in the evening

In case you didn’t know, I have an older brother named Tolstoy. He’s always playing pranks on me and stuff like that since I was 5. I’ve tried to get him back a couple of times, but somehow he’s prepared every time I try to pull something off. Well, today I went online and found this prank that seems like it really could turn up the heat on Tolstoy. What I did was I went down to the basement and dumped mud into the water tube that connects to the bathtub in Tolstoy’s room.   So when Tolstoy takes his nightly bath, he’ll get soaked with mud!

Tuesday

Yes! Tolstoy fell for the prank last night. He told Mom but luckily SHE couldn’t do anything about it. Today when I brushed my teeth, Tolstoy asked me if I was the one who played the prank on him. It was hard, but I managed to deny it. 

Later that day at school

I’m in 5th Grade, by the way. So this is what happened at school today. 

Every month, the teachers give us new seats. I got pretty good seats in all my classes except for Art and Science. In Art, I got a seat right next to Benjamin Bussek, who smells like a rotten banana. And in Science, I got a seat behind Terrence Tensol, who eats gum from the trash bin.

Recess at school

At recess, we had to stay inside because it was raining. If we stay indoors we always get to watch a movie in the auditorium. Me and my best friend Wesley Krugell were counting on no rain because today we were invited to some party that a group of friends were having at recess. So as Dad always says, don’t get your hopes too high about something.

Wednesday

At school

Today I got invited to Jensen Jesko’s party. I’m so lucky because everybody knows that Jensen’s parties are AMAZING and it’s really hard to get an invitation. I asked Wesley if he got invited and he said he did. The party is actually this Friday at 8:00 PM. So I’m just crossing my fingers that Mom and Dad will let me go. 

Later that day in the evening

When I got home from school, I went up to Wesley’s house to play video games with his friends. But what I didn’t know until I got there was his so-called “friends” were KINDERGARTENERS. I asked Wesley who the kindergarteners were, and he said they were from his afterschool. That’s when I finally started to wonder why I’m even friends with him. 

After I came back from Wesley’s house, I asked Mom and Dad at dinner if I could go to Jensen’s party, and luckily, they said yes! This is great because now I’m going to get in on some of the amazing things that happen at these parties. And even better, well, not SO much better,  Wesley’s parents are also letting him go too.

Thursday

Today was a bad day for me. Tolstoy knows a really embarrassing thing about me and today he said he told every single friend of his. So since everybody knows the “you-know-what” already, I’ll just tell you. 

A few weeks ago when we were on spring break, we went on a vacation. When we went on the boat, we got off and swam in the ocean. But somehow when it was time to go back, everybody went without me. I tried screaming “HELP!!!!” but nobody heard me. Then I remembered that when Dad drove on to the highway, there was a sign that said: “Right Shoulder for Emergency”. So I just stood there, in my underwear, lifting my right shoulder.

 Someone eventually saw me, and my family came and got on a boat to get me. 

Hopefully now you are able to see why I'm not crazy about telling everyone about this.

Friday

At school

Today at school everybody started teasing me about the thing that happened to me. The worst part was when I tried to get to Art, where a crowd of teasers were waiting for me. Luckily, I got out of there as QUICKLY as I could. I got detention, but I’m just happy that Jensen Jesko said I couldn’t come to his party because of the “you-know-what”. 

Later that day at 7:30 PM

Now I’m getting ready to go to Jensen’s party. Mom said she’d give me a ride and we were going to pick Wesley up and take him with us. So we were all set. All I have to do now is wait.

At the party

We just got to Jensen’s house. And the second I stepped in, I knew I would have a great time. For food, there was pizza, soda, cake, cookies, and every other thing I liked! The first we did was watch this horror movie named “Ghosts you Will Fear” that was about ghosts appearing and making people vanish. 

Then it was time to dance. I showed off my best moves and got the “Best Dancer Award” which was a plastic toy trophy with a $25 gift card for Target. Well, the trophy was a little corny but the gift card was great! I’ve been begging Mom to get me some new shoes, but she says I have to earn money to get them. So now I can finally get them! 

An hour later, it was time to go. We said good bye to our friends and left. So now hopefully you understand what I meant when I said Jensen Jesko’s parties were AMAZING.

Saturday

11:00 AM

Well today my day is off to a bad start. It was going good until Mom and Dad called me downstairs and told me and my family that we’re going to some resort called Elegance. I’m just happy that we aren’t going to a baby amusement park. 

Afternoon

Well Mom and Dad weren’t kidding about this Elegance thing. Mom just booked a flight and bought tickets online so I guess we’re going for real. 

Sunday

I thought we were going to Elegance in a few weeks. But I was wrong, Mom said were going TODAY. And that’s how come at 4:00 PM we were throwing our bags and luggage in the car. 

5:00 PM

We just got to the airport. Dad parked our car and we had to carry our bags all the way to the security check in the airport. Well, I have to say one thing, the airport security check has a really quick system of doing things. We got to the front of the line within 5 minutes. After that, we walked to the place where we were supposed to board the plane. We waited a few minutes and boarded. When I got there, I hoped we would get to sit in first-class, but only Mom and Dad did so me and Tolstoy had to sit in the economy section. And I’m gonna ask Dad to leave a bad review for me, because the seats in there were as hard as metal. 

Saturday (continued)

5:15 PM

The pilot came on the intercom and said we were taking off. I have to admit, I was a little scared when we did. After that, I grabbed my carry-on bag and took some headphones out of the bag because the TV in front of me had a show I always watch at home: Animal Antlers. I know it sounds like a corny science show, but it’s actually pretty interesting. After I finished that, I decided to take a long nap. And that’s how I spent the rest of my time on the plane.

8:30 PM

I woke up to the sound of the pilot on the intercom. He said that we were landing and we should get ready to leave the plane. A few minutes after that, we got off the plane, grabbed our bag from the baggage claim, and called a taxi to take us to Elegance. When we got there, a lady greeted us and gave us our room keys. Then some guys in black suits took our bags to our room. I have to admit, I was impressed. After that we went to our room, unpacked our bags, ordered dinner, and slept. So we’ll see what happens tomorrow.

Sunday 

11:00 AM

I just got up and now we’re eating breakfast. Mom said she booked a special ride for us called “Animalmania!” Well, I just hope it’s as interesting as Animal Antlers, because Animalmania sounds like the lamest ride in the world. 

12:00 PM

I guess I was a little wrong about Animalmania. I just got off the ride and I have to admit, it was kind of interesting. But I couldn’t really enjoy it because Tolstoy was trying to make Mom let him go to the Teen Center. (It’s the place in the resort with stuff for teens like Tolstoy) 

Now I was kind of tired of Tolstoy so I asked Mom if I could go to the “WaterWest” section of the resort. They actually have some really cool water rides there. And luckily, Mom said yes. 

After I got to the “WaterWest” section, I decided to go on this really tall waterslide called “Water Whites!”. But when I got to the top of the line, I started having second thoughts about going on the ride. It was actually way taller than I thought! But unfortunately, by that time a guy got me ready to go on the waterslide. Now I knew it was too late to go back down to a different ride, so I said I was ready. And I went down. To the ground.

Well, after that experience on the waterslide I was temporarily kind of paralyzed. So I decided to go to our room where I found Mom, Dad, and Tolstoy to take a nap so I could give my body a rest for today. 

Sunday (continued)

When I got up it was still light outside so I went to the pool. And unfortunately, Tolstoy tagged along. 

On my way to the pool I saw there were some vending machines so I decided to grab a snack. I had about 3 bucks with me which was enough to get a can of soda, a pack of gummy bears, and a bar of chocolate. After I got my snacks, I found a lounge chair, put my stuff on it, and went to swim in the pool. 

But after an hour some kid spotted a shark in the pool. Well, he told a lifeguard and that’s what made me and everyone else get out of that pool in like 5 seconds. So me and Tolstoy went to our room where Mom and Dad were waiting for us so we could eat dinner. After that, we all watched a movie and went to bed. And I sincerely hope I have a good day tomorrow.

Monday

Well, luckily today Mom said that we were going home in 4 days. To be honest, I’m happy because I really DO NOT want to see that shark again. After breakfast, we dropped Tolstoy off at the Teen Center and Mom and Dad went to the “Couples Corner”. So I was on my own for the day. I decided to go to the Pre-Teen Center.

 There were a bunch of activities I could do so I chose two of them, “Wacky Whale Ride” and “Money Making Games”. I asked the clerk at the activities desk what the “Money Making Games” were about, and he said kids could play a bunch of games to win money. That got me really excited. Because a few minutes later when I walked to the place where they were hosting the “Money Making Games” activity, The sign said, “Win a game, win a dollar!”, which meant if I won 5 games, I could get 5 dollars, which is a pretty good amount of money.

After I finished playing all the games, I ended up with a pretty decent 7 bucks. The “Wacky Whale Ride” I signed up for wasn’t until tomorrow, so I went to the “Mini-Golf Arena”. I found a cool kid to play mini-golf with named Cole. I won most of the rounds, but every time I did he always got me back.