This is Jamie.

Well, her name is actually Iris, but

No one must know

Also, no one can know that Jamie is wearing a wig and a bow, because Iris, which is also her, is a wanted supervillain. Well, maybe not super, but

She does have an evil castle that she broods in sometimes, that somehow none of the villagers have ever noticed, so yes, she kind of is.

If people find out that she is a supervillain, not only will she have to go to jail for committing crimes against humanity

But the IRS will also probably seize her bank account and file more criminal charges when they realize she hasn't been paying taxes on her giant castle.

Now that you've been given a little background, dear reader, it is on with the story...

...

...

That was awesome!

Well, that was mildly terrible.

...wut?

Listen, Jamie, I love ya bestie, but ya gotta get better taste in movies.

Mmm... that was a theatrical performance, though.

Okay, I guess ya need better taste in those things, too.

Shut it.

Hold up, did you just tell me to-

I'm talking to the pigeon.

Please, I'm just an innocent member of the IRS! I-

Coo coo! Flecooie coo! (Silence, wench! Your fate has already been decided!)

Have you ever considered just pooping on people like a normal pigeon?

*kicks can

Aaaaaaahhhhh!

Well, that happened.

What... have... I... done?

I think you electrocuted someone.

Ashamed at the unintentional yet violent act she committed, Odessa takes to the skies to escape her sorrows.

O H  N O. Anyways.

Joshie, don't say that. That's rude!

Ouch!

But, babeh!

S H U T. She's opening it.

*opens lid

*coughs

Well, that's a tad dramatic.

...

I'm breaking up with you.

Hospital... please...

I actually have a better- nay- brilliant- idea!

I-

But first!

Now! I take to teh skies!

Wait! Hol'up!

*yeets can

*yeets can

Remember, kids, littering is bad.

*ascends

That... was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

I think I love you again.

Where are you taking me?