How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1937 and quickly became an international bestseller, far exceeding expectations. Its timeless message about human connection has remained relevant for generations, with continued popularity across decades. This revised edition aims to modernize examples and language while keeping Carnegie’s original voice and message intact. The goal is to preserve the book’s impact for today’s readers, just as it inspired those before them.

Introduction

Principle 1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain

Criticism often triggers defensiveness instead of change. Understanding and guiding people positively is far more effective in building cooperation and trust.

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do." – Dale Carnegie

Part one.

Fundamental Techniques In Handling People

Principle 2

 Give honest and sincere appreciation

People are naturally motivated by genuine recognition. When we show appreciation, it boosts morale, builds trust, and encourages continued effort. The key is sincerity — not flattery or fake praise.

"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." – William James

Principle 3

Arouse in the other person an eager want

People are driven by their own desires, not by what others want for them. To influence effectively, align your message with what the other person genuinely wants or values. This creates motivation and mutual benefit.

"The only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what they want." – Dale Carnegie

Principle 1

Show Interest, Gain Influence

What makes people truly like you? It’s not your looks, your status, or how smart you sound. It’s how you make them feel.

Even President Theodore Roosevelt took time to prepare for conversations by learning what his guests cared about. He knew that genuine interest builds real connection.

Key idea:

People remember how you made them feel — not what you said. Be curious. Be present.

Quote to remember:

“To be interesting, be interested.”

Part two. How To Make People Like You

Principle 2

Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

F.D. Roosevelt made mechanics feel important by remembering their names.

The key lesson? People love hearing their names. As Carnegie states:

“A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Want to build stronger connections? Use names. It’s a small effort with a big impact.

 Principle 3

Listening Is a Superpower

Influence isn’t about talking — it’s about listening with genuine attention. People feel valued when they’re truly heard.

"Exclusive attention is the most flattering thing in the world." – Charles W. Eliot

People are most engaged when the conversation centers around what they care about. Showing interest in their passions builds connection and influence.

"Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours." – Dale Carnegie

Part Three. How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

Principle 1

Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong” 

Explanation:
Telling someone they’re wrong puts them on the defensive. It’s more effective to approach disagreements gently and respectfully to preserve dignity and open minds.

Quote:
"You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself." – Galileo (quoted by Carnegie)

Principle 2

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view

Explanation:
Understanding someone else’s perspective fosters empathy and helps resolve conflict. People feel valued when you try to see the world through their eyes.

Quote:
"Try honestly to put yourself in the other person’s place." – Dale Carnegie

Examples:

Principle 3

Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires

Explanation:
People are far more likely to cooperate when they feel their feelings are understood. Sympathy softens resistance and builds rapport.

Quote:
"I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you, I’d undoubtedly feel the same way." – Dale Carnegie

Examples: