I was struggling in fourth grade because I didn’t pay attention in class. When I went to fourth grade, I was sent to a block schedule class. I was sent there because my normal class wasn’t as advanced at teaching. I spent all day in that block schedule class. I stayed in that class until it’s time for specials. That’s when I went back to my normal class. I was always bored in that class because it was all about math and reading. I was always thinking about being at home playing video games or watching TV . My teacher always tried to help me, but I still ended up taking it for granted.

I started to notice that I wasn’t paying much attention in my advanced class. I often forgot what the lesson was on, whether it was math or reading. I did well in my advanced class, but I didn’t feel like what I was doing was complete. It didn't feel right to not be paying attention but still do well, I felt worried that I would forget everything from this year. I thought that I would forget that I learned something that I needed to remember for fifth grade. I was getting closer to fifth grade and I knew I had to do something about this. I told my mom about me not paying attention in class and she said I needed to pay attention in class more. I was always thinking about it, but I never changed. I tried to change. I didn’t want to sit around twirling my pencil until the time ends, I wanted to learn. I’ve tried to stop my thinking. I've tried to stop my wandering thoughts, but my brain is too busy thinking about home to focus on school. It felt wrong to sit there not paying attention while my teacher was trying to help us learn. I feel evil while ignoring what the teacher wants us to learn.

I ended up getting switched to a 3rd - 5th class, without any block classes. But I wasn’t supposed to be in that class. I could sense something was wrong with the class, the 3rd grade level work we get to do, the kids toys found in the room, I thought kids weren’t supposed to be playing with toys in 5th grade, and the 3rd grade work, but why do I have to do the work too, aren’t I supposed to be doing 5th grade work. I knew what had been going on in the school, the teachers started to get lazier, they started to give us less homework, I could also sense that the teachers were more tired, their smiles looked a little cracked and not smooth. I could agree with them, the year had been more rigged and dull, nobody talked much, the school got more empty, and the trees started to die. But I knew I had to get out of that class before the mood of the school consumes me. I told my parents about changing me to a block class again, but when my mom asked the teacher they would say they would, but they never did. The teacher started to get more angry about us asking about me being in a block class, she said I was her student. I never felt like the students here, in fact I felt smarter than the other kids in the class. My parents got angry with this, they started calling my teachers names like, “Lazy teachers,” and saying that “this school needs to pay attention to their students.” I did feel like they needed to pay attention to me, I was one of their kids, I’m not just a speck of dust. I started to remember my goal, to pay attention, and my school wasn’t even paying attention to me. Then my parents got a new idea for me, they decided to change my elementary school.