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Chapter One  

   I have four legs but no arms and I cannot walk. Who am I?

A: A chair. And let me tell you, it's a pretty boring life. Sometimes, I 

have a couple of arms, but I'm way too squishy. And besides my life 

being boring, it's also disgusting. These furry monsters come and sit on 

me and spill stuff, and it's totally injustice and outrageous.

   I cannot think of a worse life, and it's even more unfair because of 

Timmy Table, who is almost on top of me all day, and he does have to 

carry delicate plates, but still, he's covered with a nice, soft blanket all 

day long. 

   So you've learned about me. Charlie Chair. Maybe at the end of this 

book, you'll understand that you should be a bit more careful around 

me and other household items.

   Chapter Two

   I am furry, white, but cannot talk. Who am I?

A: A white, soft, stuffed polar bear. You may think I'm cute, but you 

don't act that way. The cleaner tosses me ten feet across the room! The 

owner squeezes the stuffing out of me! I fall off the bed, and I can't 

even talk (at least in human language) because my mouth is sewn 

shut! 

   Now, on the good side, I can still communicate with Gerry Giraffe, 

Thomas Tortoise, and Andrew Dog. But they all think along the same 

lines as me,

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