For Mom and Dad. Thank you for always helping me laugh through the sad moments in my life.

Chapter One
Heading back to Carson City was harder than I thought it would be. How long had it been? Thirteen, fourteen years? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t count because I didn’t realize I would be coming back. I shifted my weight in the driver’s seat; it was a long drive. Replaying the memories was hard, so I focused on the familiar driveway coming into view instead. Hesitantly, I stashed my half drunk liquor bottle in the glove compartment. I then walked up the four steps and rapped on the door five times.
“What?” a grunting voice responded to my knocking. No footsteps.
“Come in, the door’s open,” my dad called from inside. No way was I going in that wretched house again. I turned on my heel and turned the ignition.
The park was more or less the same, covered with spots of dead grass and
children who would roll around and play tag. I sat on a bench near an old oak tree and closed my eyes, hoping I could just go back to my motel room far away from here, but I wanted to see my mother.
“Jackie?” I looked up to see a lady I almost didn’t recognize. Her long hair had been chopped off into a bob and her rosy cheeks were replaced with slight wrinkles. I also didn’t recognize her because the beer bottle she usually held at parties was replaced by a small blonde-haired child.
“Laura?” I stood up and the small child being held clapped her hands delightfully. I was sure I looked as surprised as Laura did.
“Yeah. I can’t believe it.” She gave me a hug and a warm smile, “Are you here for your mom? I heard what happened.” She pulled back and looked me up and down. “You look great!"
“Thanks, you too.” I looked into the stroller at her side, “Who’s this?” I bent down a little to tickle the baby’s feet.
“Ally. She’s 13 months old now.” Laura bent down next to me and smiled. I stood up and rubbed my arms.
“She’s awfully cute. Who’s the father?” I asked with interest.
“Thomas Carrey. He’s away right now on a business trip.” She played with the baby a little more before facing me. “So why are you here again?”
“I, uh was visiting my mom and some old friends.” I crossed my arms at my explanation. “Haven’t seen her in a while so I thought I should come and see her.”
“Yeah, I was talking to her the other day and she’s feeling better. Who else are you visiting?” She tucked a piece of her bob behind her ear. My phone rang just then and saved me from the rest of the conversation. I answered my phone and politely waved goodbye to Laura. She waved back and
continued on the path with her stroller.
“Hello?” I plugged my other ear with my left hand to hear the voice on the other line better.
“Are you here yet?” A strangely familiar voice spoke on the other line. It was annoying, high pitched, and demanding.
“Yeah, I’m on my way now. What’s the address again?” I rolled my eyes at the sound of my sister's voice. How did I know I would be getting a call from her?
“I already sent it to you twice. Stop being lazy and check your messages yourself!” With that she hung up the phone. I checked my messages like she told me to and got into my car. When I reached the nursing home, I saw my sister standing outside, obviously annoyed that she had to remind me to come.
“You didn’t have to wait for me. I’m a big girl.” I walked up to her and she turned on her heel. "You didn’t have to tell me you’re going to show up all of
a sudden and then not even bother to come.” She walked up the steps and in through the doors. I followed suit. The floors were white with black speckles and the walls were a beige color. The only noise was the click of Marissa’s heels as she scurried down the hall. She took two left turns and another right before stopping at a door in the middle of the hallway. The number 163 was inscribed in the wooden door. Marissa knocked twice and then turned the doorknob.
“Marissa, is she here?” A frail voice spoke out from a bed in the middle of a room filled with daisies (my mother’s favorite), a small plastic table, and an empty lunch tray.
“Yeah,” Marissa answered with dread. She helped my mother out of the bed and I walked over to hug her.
“How are you? Was it a safe drive?” My mom immediately started bombarding me with questions.
“Yes, it was. I’m okay, but how are you?” I asked her immediately.
She sighed, “I’m as good as I can be, better now that you’re here,” I nodded and walked around her room, inspecting it.
“Is the staff nice?” I run my hand along a bar on the wall. My mom nodded and sat down in a nearby chair.
“Mom, would you like me to get you some food?” Marissa asked as she headed for the door.
“From the nursing home, no, but from Culvers would be nice. Chicken sandwich with mayonnaise, please.” My mom made a disgusted face at the mention of the food the nursing home provided.
“Are you really doing better, Mom? Because if you aren’t we could just as easily get you transported to a hospital. It would be easier for the chemotherapy anyway.” I bent down next to her chair.
"No, I would much rather stay here. I'm doing better than a couple of months
ago,” she reassured me.
“Okay.” I felt relieved as I stood up. I was about to walk away before she spoke.
“Did you talk to your father? He wants to see you.”
Chapter Two
I drove back to my house with Marissa per my mother’s orders to confront my father. When I arrived, Marissa got out immediately and went inside. I followed her through the screen and wooden doors.
“Dad? It’s Marissa and Jackie. Are you here?” We heard a grunt from the living room as my sister called out. Marissa rushed in there and came out with my old, wrinkly father on her shoulder.
“Hey, dad,” I said dryly. I didn’t hug him or look him in the eye. I just stared at the floor, like I did as a child.
“Jackie, how are you Marissa?” He turned to her as he sat in the kitchen chair nearby. I interrupted Marissa’s answer.
“Are you drunk? It’s not even 1 o’clock, yet, and you’re sixty years old.” I took a step towards him and spoke with disdain.
“Jackie, that isn’t polite, he’s not drunk.” Marissa didn’t seem to believe her own words. It did smell like liquor in the house, and he was an alcoholic.
“It was nice seeing you girls, but I really need to lie down. Jackie, will you help me to my bed upstairs?” he asked with a glint in his eye that I didn’t trust.
“I actually have to go now. I didn’t eat yet, so I need lunch.” I waved him off and started for the door.
“You can eat here. I have food, plus it will only take a second,” he said.
“I can help you, Dad.” Marissa started lifting him out of the chair until he yelled at her.
“No! Jackie is going to help me. Jackie help me into my bed.” He held his hand out for me as soon as Marissa jumped away, frightened.
"I really have to go, Dad." I walked out the door right after I said that to prevent further yelling. Inside I heard my dad yelling and Marissa trying to
calm him down. Eventually she came out and sat in the passenger seat. She scoffed at me and buckled her seat belt. I dropped her off before going to a nearby Subway. I ordered a turkey and bacon sandwich with guac, lettuce, mayonnaise, and pickles. I then sat down and dug into my lunch. As I was eating I thought back to all the times I went out eating with my family when I was younger.
Walking into McDonalds as a child was probably a normal feeling for most kids, but going out was a special occasion. Dad preferred to stay in where the rest of the town couldn’t see him drinking and we never protested. Dad ordered that we were going to eat at a fast food place one day and I remember getting all excited about it. He wasn’t drunk and he was happy. So I was happy, too. I put on my jean shorts and tshirt for the summer weather.
When my sister and mom were ready, we left in the car. My dad was driving and singing old songs from the 70's. My mom was uneasily smiling at
him and my sister laughing. I didn’t talk or move. I was afraid that if I moved, I could do something wrong, and the family time we were having would be ruined by my dad yelling at me.
So I sat still and silent. When we got to the restaurant, my dad helped my sister and I out of the car. I held his hand until we got inside. Then he let go to order our burgers. My mom chose a booth in the back by a window for us. I sat next to my mother across from my dad. He came back with our food and immediately started to eat.
“It’s really good. We should visit more often. What do you think about that ladies?” My dad pointed out as we took a bite.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” my sister exclaimed as I nodded. I still wasn’t sure if I should talk, so I interacted silently. Later on, a coffee came for my dad. He thanked the waitress and when she was gone pulled a silver box from his pocket.
"Almost done?" he asked as he poured liquid from the silver box into his coffee. My mother sighed.
“A couple more bites, Daddy,” my sister answered. But he wasn’t paying attention; he was glaring at my mother.
“Do you want some?” He pushed his beverage towards my mom.
“I’m alright, Nick. Thank you.” She started to slouch in her seat.
“I insist. Drink it,” he retorted with a dangerous tone. After a second, he drank straight from the silver box. He gulped the rest of the coffee and got up.
“Let’s go,” he demanded. A couple dollars were placed on the table and my father walked away, swaying. I pulled on his sleeve.
“What?” He turned around and glared at me.
“Can I bring my fries with me to eat in the car?” I shyly asked. He picked up my fries and handed them to me.
“No, eat them here,” my dad said. I started to eat them until my dad swiped them from me and threw them away.
“I’m sorry,” I responded.
“For what? For being a little wench?!” he yelled with a slur. My mom tried to steady him as he swayed, but he swatted her away. People were staring, so my mother rushed my sister and I outside as my dad staggered behind us. When we got home he got into an argument with my mom about how she should be seen but not heard and the way she acted at the restaurant was embarrassing. He hit her two times that night. I heard her crying while doing the dishes when I was supposed to be upstairs doing my homework.
Chapter Three
I slept at a motel nearby the nursing home. It had a queen size bed, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There was also a painting of a boat on water that was infinite shades of blue. When I woke up it was 11:28. I had a headache from the many beers I drank at the bar across the street last night. I took motrin with orange juice to calm the pounding. Half an hour later I was out of the shower with my wet hair wrapped in a towel and only my underwear and bra on.
I sat on my bed to watch Hallmark movies. I went through one of my many bags to find a plain blue t shirt. I slipped it on and pulled my unruly brown hair into a loose bun atop my head. I was slipping on sweatpants when I heard a knock at the door.
“Yes?” I asked as I pulled my sweatpants up all the way and tied the strings
into a bow.
“Room service,” I heard a small voice say. I quickly packed the rest of my clothes and set them on the table next to my bed.
“Coming.” I ran to the door and opened it to see a little old lady about 5 inches shorter than me.
“I will clean your room now.” She walked in with a couple of cleaning supplies and immediately started making my bed.
“Oh, thank you, uh,” I was trying to think of something to call her.
“My name is Mary,” she answered, still folding the covers.
“Thank you, Mary. I have to visit my mom, but I’ll be back soon.” I waved goodbye as I grabbed my keys to my car and my room. I put my phone in my pocket and rushed out the door. I took a small detour to the nursing home. I went into a place I went when I was younger. It was very rare I got to go since my dad didn’t like us to go anywhere besides school, but my mom
would give me the keys to leave when he passed out on the couch. I went in to see a booth full of laughing teenagers. I smiled at the memories that surfaced.
I was a junior in high school and my best friend, Laura, and I went to Gubbin’s Shake Shoppe as often as we could. It was our go to spot to talk.
“I hate Mr. Fourner. I don’t know how I’m going to finish this history essay by Monday. I have three days!” Laura complained as I nodded, chugging my chocolate shake.
“Did you hear about the game last night?” I asked her while she took one of my fries.
“No, did we win?” She shoved the fry in her mouth, followed by several others.
“Not only did we win, but some guy on the other team broke his leg because Carter tackled him so hard,” I got excited as I answered her.
“Ha, ha man, I wish I would’ve been there,” she laughed and I nodded, still excited.
I walked in and sat at a booth. A young girl came up to me with a menu.
“Hello, would you like anything to drink? I’m Sam and I’ll be serving you today.” Sam clicked her pen and popped a bubble with her gum.
“I’m actually wondering if Mr. Lee still owned this place?” I asked with curiosity. I would always talk to Mr. Lee everytime I came. He was a wonderful conversationalist and could relate to everything I said.
“Aaron Lee?” Sam asked. I was shocked. I knew Aaron was Mr. Lee’s son, but he always wanted to move away from town. I wonder why he’s back.
“Uh, yeah. Can I see him?” I gave Sam the menu back and stood up. She nodded and went into a back room. Aaron came out with messy hair and a tshirt. He clearly hadn’t lost his sense of style as a high schooler. Aaron was a year older than me so I didn’t know him that well. e was a friend of a friend.
“Yes? Did you need something?” He came out looking worried.
“Uh, no we actually went to high school together and I was looking for your dad,” I smiled at him.
“Wait, don’t tell me. Uh, Jackie?” He scratched his chin and ran his hand through his hair as he thought.
“Yeah!” I laughed.
“What’re you doing here? Back in town?” He asked with curiosity.
“I could ask you the same thing,” I retorted, not wanting to answer.
“Well, I took over the business when Dad got sick,” Aaron answered melancholy.
“Oh I’m sorry. Is he doing better now?” I ask, hoping to see Mr. Lee.
“Yeah, much better. I just stayed because I fell in love with the business and realized I couldn’t go with so many memories here,” Aaron smiled as many emotions ran through his eyes. .
“Well, I wish you the best. Where is Mr. Lee right now?” I asked. He thought for a minute with his hand on his hip. Aaron’s face lit up when he had the answer.
“Probably on a walk. He told me he would visit the old duck pond today. I can come with you now if you want to see him?” Aaron offered his hand for me to take so he could bring me to his father. I nodded, but didn’t take his hand. We walked out and instead of getting into a car, we just started walking on the sidewalk.
“Just a couple blocks from here. I know his favorite spot to read and feed the ducks,” he said when I gave him a questioning look.
Chapter Four
When I saw Mr. Lee, I didn’t fully recognize him. Mr. Lee was always this cheerful man. Now I saw Mr. Lee with a wrinkled expression and shaky hands. I walked over to him and announced myself.
“Hi, Mr. Lee. It’s Jackie.” I bent down to his eye level.
“Jackie? Hello. So good to see you. How are you?” He smiled at me and I saw a glimpse of the old Mr. Lee.
“I’m doing well. How are you? Feeling better?” I smiled right back at him. He nodded at me and threw pieces of bread onto the ground around him to feed the birds. I sat next to him and Aaron sat on the other end of me. Mr. Lee gave me some bread and I tore it up, tossing it onto the ground. Immediately a goose and a duck came racing towards the crumbs.
“So, Jackie, what are you doing back? Last time I saw you was 15 years ago,
and you were just a child.” He stopped feeding to face me.
“My mom is sick, so I came to spend time with her in case she, you know...passes,” I mournfully answered
“I’m very sorry. I’ll have to visit her soon. Say hello. What have you been doing since you left? Any jobs?” he inquired.
“Well, I was a receptionist for a while until I came here. So not at the moment.” I explained as I dropped more pieces of bread for the geese.
“If you need a job, Gubbin’s is always grateful for the help,” Aaron chimed into the conversation casually.
“I might take you up on that offer.” I said happily. After talking more with Mr. Lee, I decided to leave and check on my mother. I had been gone a while so I drove to the nursing home and walked through the plain hallway to her room. She was asleep in her bed when I entered, so I just walked in quietly. I stood in front of her for a while until I slowly lowered myself into her bed.
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For Mom and Dad. Thank you for always helping me laugh through the sad moments in my life.

Chapter One
Heading back to Carson City was harder than I thought it would be. How long had it been? Thirteen, fourteen years? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t count because I didn’t realize I would be coming back. I shifted my weight in the driver’s seat; it was a long drive. Replaying the memories was hard, so I focused on the familiar driveway coming into view instead. Hesitantly, I stashed my half drunk liquor bottle in the glove compartment. I then walked up the four steps and rapped on the door five times.
“What?” a grunting voice responded to my knocking. No footsteps.
“Come in, the door’s open,” my dad called from inside. No way was I going in that wretched house again. I turned on my heel and turned the ignition.
The park was more or less the same, covered with spots of dead grass and
children who would roll around and play tag. I sat on a bench near an old oak tree and closed my eyes, hoping I could just go back to my motel room far away from here, but I wanted to see my mother.
“Jackie?” I looked up to see a lady I almost didn’t recognize. Her long hair had been chopped off into a bob and her rosy cheeks were replaced with slight wrinkles. I also didn’t recognize her because the beer bottle she usually held at parties was replaced by a small blonde-haired child.
“Laura?” I stood up and the small child being held clapped her hands delightfully. I was sure I looked as surprised as Laura did.
“Yeah. I can’t believe it.” She gave me a hug and a warm smile, “Are you here for your mom? I heard what happened.” She pulled back and looked me up and down. “You look great!"
“Thanks, you too.” I looked into the stroller at her side, “Who’s this?” I bent down a little to tickle the baby’s feet.
“Ally. She’s 13 months old now.” Laura bent down next to me and smiled. I stood up and rubbed my arms.
“She’s awfully cute. Who’s the father?” I asked with interest.
“Thomas Carrey. He’s away right now on a business trip.” She played with the baby a little more before facing me. “So why are you here again?”
“I, uh was visiting my mom and some old friends.” I crossed my arms at my explanation. “Haven’t seen her in a while so I thought I should come and see her.”
“Yeah, I was talking to her the other day and she’s feeling better. Who else are you visiting?” She tucked a piece of her bob behind her ear. My phone rang just then and saved me from the rest of the conversation. I answered my phone and politely waved goodbye to Laura. She waved back and
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