"This is Obsidian reporting to headquarters." "Go ahead Obsidian." "I've spotted a human who appears to be getting a little too close to some of our nests. The human is about 6 foot tall, late 40s, and may be singing a Justin Bieber song. Permission to........." "Permission Granted!" "But you never heard the rest of my request Commander." "You had me at Bieber. Flyby attack has been authorized."

"Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh! Baby, Baby, Baby, OWWWWWW!!!!

Obsidian swooped down and grazed the forehead of the intruder. "Perfect hit! This is Obsidian reporting. Mission accomplished. Potential threat has began running from the scene and may even be crying a little." "Excellent work Obsidian. Please report back to the home base." "Roger that!" Obsidian belonged to an elite group known as The Red-winged Blackbirdz. The organization was made up of male birds who protected their families' nests against all predators from raccoons to hawks to humans.

Back at the home base of The Red-winged Blackbirdz, Obsidian returned to loud cheers and high-fives from his fellow members. His victory celebration was short-lived however. "Listen up boys!" The Commander began. "It's mating season and so we're going to be dealing with constant threats to the eggs and our security. For the next little while I want you to dedicate 100% of your time and energy to this effort. Have I made myself clear?" "Sir! Yes Sir!" the group of birds shouted altogether.

The opening days and nights of the siege were hard-fought. Predators of all shapes and sizes converged upon the nests of The Red-winged Blackbirdz only to be repelled by the brave warriors. It seemed as though every animal in the neighborhood wanted a crack at the blackbirds. Although the Red-winged Blackbirdz continued to hold down the fort, some of them were beginning to tire while others had lost their passion for battle. Serving as a member of The Red-Winged Blackbirdz used to mean something. But much like everything in life, nothing stays the same forever.

During a particularly spirited battle, a young new recruit almost single-handily defeated a gang of hawks. The blackbird had incredible speed, power, and grit. Commander Coal was ecstatic about the emergence of this gallant new warrior. The newcomer's amazing performance seemed to have reinvigorated the troops. As The Red-winged Blackbirdz returned to their home base to celebrate, the Commander requested a private audience with his 'Superstar of the Skies.'

"You wanted to see me Commander Coal?" "Ah yes, my newest winged warrior. Come on in. Hey, wait a minute! Are you a girl?" "Yes I am and I want to be part of The Red-winged Blackbirdz." "But you're a girl. Your role is stay here and look after the eggs." "You saw me out there Commander Coal. I'm just as good if not better than most of your fighters." "Who do you think you are, Mulan? I can't let a girl join The Red-winged Blackbirdz. It's been our tradition for years that this military force only be open to male recruits." Dejected but not defeated, Onyx vowed to one day join The Red-winged Blackbirdz.

CASTLE SQUARE PLAZA

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While the plucky young bird continued to plead her case about joining the Blackbirds, a familiar foe began plotting his revenge. "Are you Dr. Tatum London, world-famous plastic surgeon?" "I have an office but wouldn't exactly call myself a 'doctor'. I'll see what I can do." "My name is Carter Stokes. I need you to fix my face. I was wickedly assaulted by a bird. The attack left me looking like a hideous monster." "All I see is a tiny nick on your forehead." "If I want to be a teen pop star I have to look perfect!" "Teen pop star? Dude, you're like 47 years old." "Weird flex, but okay." "I don't even know what that means." "Just fix my face!" Carter roared.

"I did the best that I could. I hope you're satisfied. Honestly, you didn't need surgery. You can barely notice the wound. You have to really squint to see it." "Enough! Give me the mirror!" "There's nothing to see." "I said, give me the mirror!" Carter looked into the mirror and was horrified. "No! No! No! I'm a goblin!" "Chill out bro. All you need to do is put a band-aid on it or some cover-up if it bugs you that much." "Silence! Because of that bird, I will never be rich, famous, and good-looking. Thanks for nothing!" Carter tossed the mirror to the floor as he stormed out of Dr. London's Office/Orange Julius stand.

Carter followed a group of birds back to the bushes where they made their home. "Red-winged Blackbirdz, Come Out To Play!" he taunted. Most of the birds were huddled together in an underground bunker. A series of alarms started to blare as The Red-winged Blackbirdz readied for battle. "How did that human get past our defenses?" Commander Coal shouted. "I believe the human has begun to capture some of our troops in birdcages!" Lieutenant Sable cried out. "Rally the troops! We need all wings on deck!" The Red-winged Blackbirdz had no time to get ready as their nests, eggs, and families were under attack.

Driven by his desire for revenge, Carter was able to outsmart the Blackbirdz as he lured many of them into cages. "Bad news Sir!" "What is it Lieutenant?" "Many of our men have been captured while others have chickened out and flown away." "This is a disaster! What are we going to do? The only birds we have left are too young to fly." "Ahem!" Onyx interrupted. "No. I told you The Red-winged Blackbirdz is for male birds only." "You're going to be out of male birds soon and you've seen what I can do Commander." "I'm sorry kid, but the answer is still no."

Eventually Carter got close enough to reach his hand into one of the nests where he swiped a group of eggs. This group of eggs just happened to belong to Commander Coal and his wife. "Commander! Commander!" "What is it now Lieutenant?" "The human has stolen your wife's eggs from the nest!" "I got to get out there!" "You can't Sir. You've been in hundreds of missions and are in no condition to fight." For the first time in his highly-decorated career, Commander Coal felt helpless. "Now can I help out?" Onyx chirped. After a brief hesitation, Commander Coal gave his blessing.