As part of my school's cirriculum, all students are required to obtain 40 hours of community service hours. If you don't get those hours, you can't graduate. I wasn't worried about that. I was more concerned about having to spend so much time at The Saltstone Harbor Retirement Village with old people.

I kinda felt sorry for some of the residents at the home. They never received any phone calls or visits from family or friends and would spend the day in their rooms alone. I'm not that comfortable around old people but even I wouldn't do that to anyone. Oh, these are the group of residents I spend most of my time with: Magnolia, Finley, Eli, and Ken. And yes, Ken is wearing his bathrobe. 

All the residents were abuzz one afternoon, as they were about to take a bus to see one of their favorite crooners from the '50s. I jokingly asked if it was the 1850s and was greeted by dirty looks. Hey, I thought it was funny. Casey Monroe was a huge teen idol back in the 1950s and was performing a special matinee at the local theater. 

The Serenity Theater was about an hour's drive from the senior's home. The residents boarded the shuttle accompanied by the Activities Coordinator, Ms. Caroline and myself. As if the long bus ride with a group of senior citizens wasn't enough, this was going be my very first concert. Real cool. Oh, and if my friends ask, don't tell them about this okay?

"Back when I was your age" Magnolia began. "Uh huh." "I had many gentleman callers. They all wanted to take to the soda shoppe for a milkshake." "Uh huh." "I remember one boy in particular was really interested in me. Moose McKenna was his name. Big, brawny type. Captain of the football team." "Uh huh." "But I didn't have time for dating. You see I had to train as part of a secret society of martial artists known as The Golden Lions." "Uh huh. Wait, what?" THUMP! "Oh no! I think there's somebody on the roof!" Ms. Caroline shrieked.

"It's The Black Masks, an army of lethal Japanese warriors! I thought we vanquished them after they attacked us at The Gold Rush Bingo Hall!" Ken added. "We defeated all but one of them. He surrendered to us but vowed that he would get revenge one day. Today is that day." Finley piped in. "Looks like it's time for Golden Lions to finish the battle once and for all" Magnolia said. "Wait a second. The four of you are going to take on an army of Japanese warriors?" "Yes. Now turn around. We have to change our clothes." Petrified, Ms. Caroline hid under one of the seats as the group of warriors multiplied.

Before my eyes, a group of sweet but frail senior citizens transformed into an awesome fighting force. "Driver! Keep on driving to the venue. I'm not going to miss this show!" Eli commanded. "I'll take out the warrior on top of the shuttle!" Finley shouted. "Alright, the rest of us will battle the warriors surrounding the shuttle" Eli responded. "And I'll sit here quietly with my hands in my lap" I nervously replied. Okay, everything I said about old people, I take it all back. This was gonna be one wild adventure.

I couldn't believe what I was witnessing as the retirement home residents engaged in fierce swordfights and hand-to-hand combat. The warrior on top of the shuttle was tossed to the ground by Finley. "Psst! Hey kid!" "Yeah?" "Can you grab one of my arthritis pills? They're in the pocket of my jacket." "Uhhhh, sure" I stammered as I passed the pill to Eli. "Thanks" he replied before rejoining the combat.

"I know what you're thinking. How can Mazur write a cool kung fu story without ninjas?  Believe me, I wanted to use them in this book but right now they're practicing.......... 

................Social Ninja-cing!"

"Ugh! So lame."

"I know, right? Anyways, back to our story!"

I don't get it. How could a group of seniors who had to use canes and walkers to get around be able to display such mind-blowing agility? I felt like I had a front row seat to the world's greatest kung fu movie. It almost made me want to go out there and start doing my thing. I'm sure I could handle myself against those warriors. But then one of them busted down the back door of the shuttle and headed towards me. I froze. Oh yeah, I'm a real tough guy. 

Thankfully Magnolia jumped into the shuttle and saved me. After a brief sword fight, the feisty older lady sent the warrior flying with a spinning backfist. "Whoa! You're gonna have to teach me that!" I excitedly asked. "I'd be glad to. But right now there's still work to be done. I do need your help out there" "Cool! I'll do whatever it takes!" "Here, hold these." Wicked! Maybe I'd get to hold a pair of num-chuks or even a katana. "Um, what is this?" "My teeth. I forgot to take them out." "Ewww!"

The Black Masks began to overwhelm the four elderly fighters. Eventually Magnolia was surrounded by the menacing mob. "Alex! I need your help!" Magnolia shouted. I slowly exited the shuttle to find the heroes vastly outnumbered by Japanese warriors. "You know how to use a katana, right?" "Oh yeah! Of course! What kid doesn't?" I joked. "Good! Take this sword and let's defeat The Black Masks together!" I nearly fell over when I tried to lift the katana. It was so heavy. I was being sarcastic about knowing how to use one of these. Maybe she knew that and was looking for me to stop being a such a wiseguy.