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One time, a long time ago, when the name 

Miles was still fashionable, there was a little 

boy named Miles. But don't go thinking that he 

knew everything about miles, or even liked 

them. At school, everyone asked him about 

miles. "How many miles to the store?" the 

kids would ask. Miles would shrug. "I have no 

idea," he would reply. "But you're mile boy!" 

they always complained. "You're supposed to 

know everything about miles!" "I can tell you 

about inches," Miles would suggest. "Who 

cares about inches?" they would scoff. "We 

want to know about miles!" But Miles cared 

about inches. 

After a while Miles became very fed up 

with all the questions about miles. "If you 

want to know about miles so much, why 

don't you research it yourself?" he yelled 

one day. Then he ran through what he 

thought was the door. What was it for 

real? The Magical Suction of Customary 

Measurement.

Suddenly Miles was whirling and twirling 

through the air, screaming like a little kid. 

Finally the sensation stopped and Miles 

(amazingly) landed on his feet. Before 

him was a thin man in a thinking stance. 

When he saw Miles he smiled and clapped 

his hands. "You're here!" he said 

excitedly. "I've been waiting for you. 

Today you are going to learn about miles 

so you can teach everybody else when I 

send you back through the suction." Miles 

blinked. What?

"Where am I? And who are you?" Miles asked. He 

glanced around. "You're inside The Magical 

Suction of Customary Measurement! I'm Mr. Foot, 

your tour guide for today. I already told you what 

we're doing. We'd better go soon. I have to return 

you before you're missed." Miles shook his head. 

"This is weird. One minute I'm there and the next 

minute I'm here." Mr. Foot frowned. "Miles, you're 

smart enough to know that it wasn't a minute. 

Thirty-six seconds precisely. Now, let's go to the 

miles room."

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