"If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done." - Ludwig Wittgenstein
















I've been in a lot of jams during my 10 years on the police force and have always found a way out of them. But not this time. I've been tied to chair in a dirty abandoned room with a bomb that's set to explode in the next 30 minutes. I sure miss my old partner, Officer Jelly Bean, Squirrel Cop. Yeah, I know it sounds ridiculous but we made a good team. That was until he sacrificed himself to save me from a runaway car. Believe it or not, he was the best partner I ever had. Here's our story.

I had been with the New Eden Police Force for about five years when I first met Squirrel Cop. One Thursday morning my partner Officer Wren called in sick so I assumed I'd be riding alone. Little did I know that a spunky squirrel named Jelly Bean had climbed inside my patrol car. Apparently I had left the door to my vehicle open during roll call and that's when the squirrel hopped inside. He must've been planning this as he reported for duty with a tiny badge and police hat.






He looked too cute in his little uniform for me to kick him out so I let him join me as I started my patrol. "So, um, you're a squirrel" I mumbled. Hey, you try coming up with something clever to say next time you're seated next to a squirrel! "Yep. Been a squirrel for about ten years. I just joined the police force today" he joked. "Uh, yeah. Welcome aboard Officer?." "Jelly Bean." "Officer Jelly Bean? Alright" I groaned. This was absurd but who would believe this story? Before I could call into headquarters to ask for a new partner an announcement was made on the police radio.

ANGELIQUE'S JEWELLERY BOUTIQUE



"Robbery in progress at Angelique's Jewellery Boutique on Kenya Avenue. Suspects are armed and dangerous." "I know where that is. This is Officer Lawrence, I'm on my way to the crime scene. Requesting backup. Over." "This is dispatch. Request granted. Over." We arrived at the jewellery store in a matter of minutes. "Alright Jelly Bean, you wait here like a good squirrel while I head inside." Moments after I made my way towards the front door, Officer Jelly Bean jumped out of the car. It seems as though he had plans of his own.










I slowly entered the jewellery store when I heard a woman call out to me. "It's okay officer, they're long gone." "Hello ma'am, my name is Officer Lawrence. Are you alright?" "Yes, just a little shook up. The thieves made off with millions of dollars in jewels however." "How'd they get away so quickly? I got the call a few minutes ago" "I'm sure this wasn't their first jewel heist. They were very organized and were in and out in a matter of minutes." "Sounds like the The Milan Syndicate is back at it again. Another officer will take you to the station where you can give them a full report."






When I got back into my car I noticed that the squirrel wasn't there. Oh well, it'll make for a funny story one day. I decided to drive by The Syndicate's former hangout, an old warehouse on the outskirts of New Eden. I drove by a few times but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. As I prepared to head back to the police station something hit my car window. Then it happened again so I decided to pull over to find out what it was. I exited the car and looked around but saw nothing. Then out of the corner of my eye I spotted a couple of acorns on the hood of my car.




"Psst! Over here" a voice whispered in my ear. It was Jelly Bean and he was sitting on my shoulder. "What's going on?" I asked. "The Milan Syndicate is inside the warehouse. They built themselves an underground garage where they store their vehicles." "What about the jewels?" "I did some digging around and I think I found them. Their plan was to bury the jewels, leave town until things calmed down and then dig them up later on." "Great detective work!" I exclaimed. "Not really. I was actually burying some chestnuts for winter when I came across a couple of diamonds." "I'll call for backup." "I already did" Jelly Bean responded.







Within a few minutes the warehouse was completely surrounded by police. Soon members of The Milan Syndicate were being lead out one by one. We were also able to capture the leader of The Syndicate, the brilliant yet dangerous Michael B. Rose. We'd been after him for years. As he was being lead to one of the police cars he vowed revenge on the officers responsible for his arrest. After things settled down I had Jelly Bean bring me to site where he had found the diamonds. There we were able to recover all of the jewels as well as some gold and other valuables from previous robberies.





When I got back to the police station I was hailed as a hero. All of my fellow officers were applauding and patting me on the back. "Thank you! Thank you!" I bashfully replied. "Officer Lawrence, I want to talk to you in private" Sgt. Knight shouted out. "I don't know how you did it but you helped capture the most dangerous group of jewel thieves all by yourself." "I did get a little unexpected help from a friendly squirrel" I stammered. "Lawrence you're hilarious! A squirrel cop! Bwaaaaaa!!! I'm going to have to share that with the rest of the precinct."





Jelly Bean and I continued to work together solving many crimes. I had been partnered with Officer Wren for the past three years but one day he abruptly quit the police force. Oh well. We were never that close to begin with. Jelly Bean and I however, became good friends and spent a lot of our free time together. We were a great team as he was able to climb into nooks and crannies that I'd never fit into. Nobody believed that a cop would have a squirrel for a partner which made him my very own secret weapon. Weird? Yes. Effective? Very! Sgt. Knight began hinting that he was considering making me a detective in the near future.






But then one day fate would rear its ugly head. Michael B. Rose was being transferred to another prison when the police caravan escorting him was attacked. Rose escaped into a helicopter that had been hovering overhead. He was soon placed at the top of the FBI's most wanted list but it was as though he had vanished into thin air. A couple of months later the jewel heists began again. Rose had hired a new group of bandits to replace his old crew. He had also acquired a new partner. This mystery partner seemed to know a lot about law and security as he was able to help Rose and his gang evade capture.







Rose and his gang had become unstoppable. The police force couldn't keep up with all of the robberies that were happening. The Syndicate soon added banks and sports cars to their list of targets. That's when Sgt. Knight called me into his office. "Listen Lawrence, we're getting desperate here. We need you to work your magic one more time so we can put Rose back behind bars." "Yes sir!" I shouted as I raced out to my car. Like clockwork, Jelly Bean hopped inside, ready for duty. It was time to see if we could catch lightning in a bottle once again and put Rose away for good.





Jelly Bean was able to get some valuable intelligence from one of his informants. New Eden has a lot of trees and a lot of squirrels. Buster has got eyes and ears in every part of the city. He's one well-connected squirrel, if the price is right. "What can you tell me about The Milan Syndicate Buster?" "My sources tell me that they are hiding out at the old airport. It may look abandoned but be careful. It could be a trap." "Thanks again. Alright Lawrence, let's roll!" "Ahem" Buster cleared his throat. "My information isn't free you know." "Here you go" Jelly Bean said as he rolled his eyes before handing Buster squirrel a large acorn.
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"If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done." - Ludwig Wittgenstein
















I've been in a lot of jams during my 10 years on the police force and have always found a way out of them. But not this time. I've been tied to chair in a dirty abandoned room with a bomb that's set to explode in the next 30 minutes. I sure miss my old partner, Officer Jelly Bean, Squirrel Cop. Yeah, I know it sounds ridiculous but we made a good team. That was until he sacrificed himself to save me from a runaway car. Believe it or not, he was the best partner I ever had. Here's our story.

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