1. Q: Want to hear a joke about pizza?

    A: Never mind it's too cheesy!

2. Q: Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt?

    A: Well he sure doesn't want to be spotted!

3. Q: Why did the teddy bear not eat dinner?

    A: He was stuffed!

4. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice?

    A: To prove he isn't a chicken!

5. Q: What do you call a super hero working at an ice cream shop?

    A: Scooper man 

6. Q: 2 pickles fell on the floor. What did one say to the other?

    A: Dill with it. 

7. Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?

    A: Because he was sitting on the deck

8. Q: What do cats eat on hot days?

    A: Mice cream sundaes!

9. Q: What did the chef say to the burnt bread?

    A: You're toast

10. Q: Why did the football player shake the vending machine?

       A: He wanted his quarter back

11. Q: What did the dog say about the sandpaper?

      A: Ruff

12. Q: What is a balloon's least favorite type of music?

      A: Pop

13. Q: What is a pig's favorite karate movie?

      A: Pork Chop

14. Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?

      A: Nothing. It just waved

15. Q: How does the moon cut his hair?

      A: Eclipse it

16. Q: Where do fruits go on vacation?

      A: Pear-is

17. Q: What is a refreshment's favorite game?

      A: Tic Tac Toe

18. Q: Why does the mountain have good jokes?

      A: Because their hill-arious

19. Q: What does Jack Frost use for his computer's storage?

      A: Frost bytes

20. Q: Why did the ghost starch his sheets?

    A: He wanted to scare people stiff

21. Q: What do you call a cow eating grass?

      A: A lawn moo-er

22. Q: Why do spiders make good baseball players?

      A: They're great at catching flies

23. Q: What did the judge say when someone farted?

      A: Odor in the court

24. Q: What is the tallest building in the world? 

      A: The library, because it has so many stories

25. Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?

      A: You give it ten-tickles

26. Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

      A: Fsh

27. Q: What do you call a good egg?

      A: Eggcelent

28. Q: What is a pebble's favorite type of music?

      A: Rock

29. Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

      A: In case he got a hole in one

30. Q: What do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcupine?

      A: A slow poke

31. Q: Why couldn't the flower ride his bike?

      A: He lost his pedals

32. Q: Why did the student eat his homework?

      A: His teacher said it was a piece of cake

33. Q: What animal always gets in trouble with school?

      A: Cheetahs

34. Q: Who is a Jellyfish's best friend?

      A: A peanut butter fish

35. Q: What do you call an angry pea?

      A: Grum-pea

36. Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring

      A: Pilgrims

37. Q: Why did the sun go to school?

      A: To get brighter

38. Q: What did the Police Officer say to his stomach?

      A: Freeze, you're under a vest

39. Q: Why did one sandwich not believe the other?

      A: It was full of baloney!

40. Q: Why wouldn't the shrimp share?

      A: He was shellfish

41. Q: What happened when the teacher tied all of the students shoe laces together?

      A: They had a class trip!

42. Q: Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?

     A: All the fans had left

43. Q: Why do they tell actors to 'Break a leg'?

     A: Because they have to play in a cast

44. Q: What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?

     A: Dead ends

45. Q: What did the third guy do when two guys walked into a bar?

     A: He ducks

46. Q: Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

      A: He won the no-bell prize

47. Q: Did you hear the story of an claustrophobic astronaut?

     A: He just needed some space

48. Q: What does a cow think of this joke?

     A: A-moo-sing

49. Q: What did Blackbeard say when he turned 80?

     A: Aye matey

50. Q: What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and no legs?

     A: Bob

51. Q: What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

     A: Oops

52. Q: What's the best part about living in Switzerland?