A Panda Christmas

Written by Sophie R. Britton

Dedicated to Lyla Seals for being an amazing friend.

Act 1, Scene 1 - Panda HQ Office

(Lights up on a room with dark green walls and black flooring. There is a panda rug on the floor and black bookshelves. In the centre of the room, there is a black oak desk. There are two black comfy chairs in front of the desk. Through the large windows, you can see snow falling. KUNG FU PANDA walks into the room, along with ZANE. KUNG FU PANDA sits at the desk, and ZANE sits down in one of the comfy chairs.) 

Kung Fu Panda: (With an air of authority, no hesitation) Okay. I have a mission, and since not everyone fits in this room, I am telling you. Being so talkative, everyone will know pretty soon. Our mission is to get ready for christmas! It is November 26th, and December will be here before we know it. We will need a tree, decorations, hats, lights, ornaments and wrapping paper.

Zane: (Talkative) I’ll tell everyone! Should all of the ornaments be panda themed? And decorations?

Kung Fu Panda: (Quickly dismissing the idea) No. We are preparing for Christmas, not international panda day. It is November 26th, not March 16th. Ten panda ornaments, tops. I want lots of green and red, not black and white. Send Sophie over here. 

Zane: Should I get any panda lights?  

Kung Fu Panda: (doubtful) Do those even exist? Send Sophie over here, and spread the word. 

(ZANE leaves the room. About five minutes later, SOPHIE arrives in the room, and sits down in the same chair that Zane sat in.)

Sophie: (Politely) Hello. Zane told me about the Christmas mission. What do you want me for?

Kung Fu Panda: (Jumping right in) I need you to make a shopping list. We need ornaments, a tree, lights, decorations and Santa hats for everyone. (Hands SOPHIE a black card with white lettering) Here is a Treasury Card. I am putting you in charge of organising the parties to get the supplies.

Sophie: (Writing on a notepad) Do we need wrapping paper?

Kung Fu Panda: Yes. (In an annoyed tone) Christmas wrapping paper, not panda themed.

Sophie: I’ll get some pandas to help me get all of this. Thank you for the Treasury Card.

(Lights out)

Act 2, Scene 1 - Christmas Tree farm

(Lights on on a Christmas tree farm. There is a sign that says Mini Trees Christmas Tree Farm. The place is deserted, because it wasn’t December yet, and it was evening. SAUSAGE PANDA appears on set, and walks up to THE CHRISTMAS TREE FARM OWNER.)

Sausage Panda: (Impatient) Could I have your largest tree? 

The Christmas Tree Farm Owner: If you want a big tree, head somewhere else.

Sausage Panda: (explaining) I still want the tree to be small, but not too small. So, where is your largest tree?

The Christmas Tree Farm Owner: This way.

(SAUSAGE PANDA and THE CHRISTMAS TREE FARM OWNER walk through a forest. They arrive in a clearing with a five- foot tall tree in the centre. THE CHRISTMAS TREE FARM OWNER walks over to the five - foot tall tree.)

The Christmas Tree Farm Owner: This big enough for you?

Sausage Panda: (Satisfied) Yep. How much does it cost?

The Christmas Tree Farm Owner: (Excited) Thirty-two dollars. We only take cash.

(SAUSAGE PANDA hands THE CHRISTMAS TREE FARM OWNER a stack of bills.)

The Christmas Tree Farm Owner: We only take cash in american dollars, not Panda Cash. Use the ATM machine over there. (Points to an ATM machine)

(SAUSAGE PANDA sticks a wad of bills in. Out comes a smaller wad of bills. SAUSAGE PANDA hands the bills to THE CHRISTMAS TREE FARM OWNER. THE CHRISTMAS TREE FARM OWNER grabs an ax and chops the tree down.)

Sound Effect: Ax chopping

(SAUSAGE PANDA grabs the tree and puts it in a large wagon. Lights off.)

Act 2, Scene 2 - The Christmas Decoration Store

(Lights on in a store building. There are lights, ornaments and other various Christmas decorations lining the walls in shelves. SPARKLE and BABOO enter the room.)

Sparkle: (Jubilant) I’ll get the ornaments!

Baboo: (Happy, with a sense of humor) I’m coming with you. Otherwise you will buy way too many glittery ornaments. Sausage Panda is coming back with a small christmas tree. (All business) Sophie said that Kung Fu Panda told her to tell us to get seventy ornaments.

Sparkle: (Begging) But can they still be sparkly?

Baboo: (Comforting) Sure. And we’ll get some good lights to make them sparkle!

(SPARKLE smiles a huge smile. BABOO and SPARKLE walk down the isles until they arrive at a section of the store with a huge sign that reads ‘Ornaments’. SPARKLE runs towards the most sparkly ornaments, with BABOO not far behind.)

Sparkle: Look at how glittery these are!

Baboo: (Doubtful, with a sense of humor) We are not getting green ornaments to put on a green tree. (In a voice of reason, pointing out the ornaments) How about we get a ten pack of those silver ornaments, a six pack of those red ornaments, a six pack of those Santa hat ornaments and a forty-eight pack of those red/white ornaments? They’re all glittery…

Sparkle: (Interrupting, Full of Excitement) Yes! Yes! Yes! Lets get them!

Baboo: (Murmuring to herself) That’s ten, thirty-four… (Exclamation) forty-four! Let's head to the checkout counter.

(BABOO and SPARKLE walk over to a desk. Sitting behind the desk is THE ORNAMENT STORE OWNER.)

Sparkle: (Excited) We’d like to buy these ornaments!

The Ornament Store Owner: That would be forty-seven.

Baboo: (Confused) But I counted forty-four!

The Ornament Store Owner: That was before tax.

Baboo: (Muttering to herself) I hate tax.

The Ornament Store Owner: So does everyone else.

(BABOO hands THE ORNAMENT STORE OWNER a stack of bills. THE ORNAMENT STORE OWNER puts the ornaments in a plastic bag, and hands it to SPARKLE. SPARKLE and BABOO head towards the door.)

The Ornament Store Owner: Merry Christmas!

(Lights Out)

Act 2, Scene 3 - Christmas Light/Decoration Store

(Lights up on the inside of a Christmas decoration store. BIG BAMBO and LITTLE BAMBO are inside, with LITTLE BAMBO sitting on top of BIG BAMBO’S head.)

Little Bambo: (Amazed) So many lights! Which ones should we get?

Big Bambo: (Reading off of a long list) Kung Fu Panda says we need seventy feet of christmas lights for outside, one hundred yards for the tree, and five hundred yards for inside. That equals…about eight hundred thirty yards. We also need table decorations, outside decorations, and Christmas silverware.

Little Bambo: Well, let’s get a move on!

(LITTLE BAMBO and BIG BAMBO walk through the store until they arrive in an isle with a sign saying ‘Christmas Lights’.)

Big Bambo: Here we are! Little Bambo, get onto the shelves and find eight hundred thirty yards of yellow christmas lights.

(LITTLE BAMBO jumps off BIG BAMBO’S head and starts running along the shelves.)

Little Bambo: (Motioning to a stack of boxes) We’ll need twenty-five of these boxes

(LITTLE BAMBO starts knocking boxes into the cart, which has a pillow at the bottom. )

Little Bambo: (Muttering to himself) Twenty-three, Twenty-four, Twenty five! That's the lights covered.

Big Bambo: Jump back on! Next stop: The outdoor decorations!

(LITTLE BAMBO jumps back onto BIG BAMBO’S head. BIG BAMBO pushes

the cart until they come to an aisle with a sign advertising ‘Have the greatest yard in town!’ )

Big Bambo: Kung Fu Panda said no blow-ups, and that we could get three to five outdoor decorations.

Little Bambo: Let's get the light-up Nativity Scene, the light-up reindeer and sleigh and the Noel sign.

Big Bambo: (With Excitement) Look! It’s a light-up panda with a Santa hat!

Little Bambo: We are so getting that one!

(BIG BAMBO puts the chosen decorations in the cart.)

Big Bambo: Now time for the tabletop decorations!

(LITTLE BAMBO and BIG BAMBO walk through the store until they come

upon an aisle with a sign saying ‘Bring Christmas to the dinner table!’)

Big Bambo: Little Bambo, I will give you the honors of running down the shelves and choosing these decorations.

Little Bambo: Yay!

(LITTLE BAMBO runs along the aisle. A few moments later, he comes back holding a stack of boxes.)

Big Bambo: Put them in the cart! Time to go home now.

(LITTLE BAMBO drops the pile into the cart. Lights out.)

Act 2, Scene 4 - Christmas Wear Store

(Lights up on a Christmas wear store. Inside is SOPHIE, who is holding LITTLE DIAMOND. They are in the front lobby. )

Sophie: Little Diamond, today we need to get all the pandas ugly christmas sweaters and Santa hats.

Little Diamond: That sounds like fun!

Sophie: I have the panda’s sizes listed here. We’ll go down the sweater aisle, and you get to choose some sweaters!

Little Diamond: Yay!

(SOPHIE pushes a trolley cart down the Sweater Aisle. LITTLE DIAMOND oohs and ahs at the ugly christmas sweaters.)

Little Diamond: (Pointing to a rack of panda christmas sweaters) Mommy, I want those ones!

Sophie: Those ones are perfect! Little Diamond, can I trust you to open Mommy’s purse and pull out Mommy’s wallet?

Little Diamond: Yes, Mommy!

(SOPHIE starts pulling sweaters off the rack and sticking them in the trolley, while LITTLE DIAMOND opens a black bag and pulls out a deep green wallet.)

Little Diamond: (Handing the wallet to SOPHIE) Here you go Mommy!

Sophie: Good job, Little Diamond!

(A smile lights up LITTLE DIAMOND’S face. SOPHIE pushes the cart to another aisle labelled ‘Santa Hats: 60% off!’)

Sophie: Now we need to decide which Santa Hats to get. How about those super-furry ones?

Little Diamond: Those look so soft! Can we get them? Please! Please!

Sophie: (Exasperated) Yes, Little Diamond.

Little Diamond: Yay! Yay!

(SOPHIE grabs the stack of Santa Hats, counts them, and puts a few back. SOPHIE and LITTLE DIAMOND then head to the checkout counter. Sitting behind the counter is CHRISTMAS WEAR STORE CLERK.)

Sophie: (Handing over the items) I would like to purchase these.

Christmas Wear Store Clerk: That would be six-hundred-twenty dollars.

(SOPHIE hands CHRISTMAS STORE CLERK a stack of bills. CHRISTMAS STORE CLERK puts all the items in the trolley.)

Christmas Store Clerk: Merry Christmas!

(Lights out.)

Act 2, Scene 5 - Toy Store

(Lights up on a toy store. Inside are ORI and GAMI, who are in front of a counter. TOY STORE CLERK is behind the counter.)

Ori: (To TOY STORE CLERK) Could we have some wrapping paper?

Toy Store Clerk: How many rolls?

Gami: Twenty.

Toy Store Clerk: Any desired patterns?

Ori: Christmas, of course, and panda.

Toy Store Clerk: We do not have any christmas pandas, but we have christmas, panda, and christmas teddy bear.

Gami: We’ll take christmas, geometric christmas trees.

Toy Store Clerk: (Hands over a stack of wrapping paper tubes) Here you go. That will be one hundred dollars.

Ori: So five dollars per roll?

Toy Store Clerk: Yes, but if you buy toys from here, it’s fifty percent off.

Gami: No thank you.

(ORI hands over a stack of bills, while GAMI takes the rolls of wrapping paper.)

Gami: You need to take ten of these!

(ORI grabs a stack of ten rolls of wrapping paper.)

Toy Store Clerk: Merry Christmas!

(Lights out.)

Act 3, Scene 1 - Panda HQ Office

(Lights up on the Panda HQ Office. Inside are KUNG FU PANDA, ZANE and SOPHIE. The snow outside the window has gotten heavier.)

Kung Fu Panda: Zane, I would like you to tell everyone good job for all their hard work. We have everything we need for christmas.

(ZANE starts to get out of his chair.)

Kung Fu Panda: (Looking at ZANE) But we are not done yet.

(ZANE sits back down.)

Kung Fu Panda: Zane, tell Baboo, Sparkle and Sausage Panda  to decorate the tree; Little Bambo and Big Bambo to set up the decorations; Panda on Ceiling and Gift Panda to set up the lights; Ori and Gami to give everyone their wrapping paper; and Xiao and Teen Yan to turn on some christmas music. (Turning to SOPHIE) You and

Little Diamond need to give everyone their ugly sweaters and Santa Hats. (Talking to both ZANE and SOPHIE) You two may leave now.

(ZANE and SOPHIE exit the room. Lights out.)

Act 3, Scene 2 - Panda HQ, Living room

(Lights up on a room with green walls, black floors and a grey couch along one wall. On the adjacent wall, there were two black bookshelves. In the centre of the room there were SAUSAGE PANDA, BABOO and SPARKLE next to the christmas tree. BABOO is holding a large box, which she sticks on the ground. SPARKLE pulls off the lid. Inside are all the ornaments, in their original packaging, that BABOO and SPARKLE picked out.)

Sausage Panda: Ornaments can get that sparkly?

Baboo: Sparkle picked them out.

Sparkle: Don’t they look great?

Sausage Panda: They are very… glittery.

Sparkle: So that means they're awesome!

Baboo: There are seventy ornaments, and three of us. That's about twenty three ornaments each, which leaves one ornament left for… Sparkle!

Sparkle: Yay!

Sausage Panda: What made you choose her?

Baboo: While she puts up the last ornament, we can wash all the glitter off our paws.

(PANDA ON CEILING and GIFT PANDA walk in, carrying a large box.)

Panda on Ceiling: Here are your lights.

Baboo: Thanks.

(PANDA ON CEILING and GIFT PANDA exit the room.)

Baboo: Let's set up the lights. Sparkle, you climb to the top of the

tree, and I’ll go halfway up. Sausage Panda, you stay on the ground and pass the lights up.

Sausage Panda and Sparkle: Okay.

(SPARKlE climbs to the top of the tree, and BABOO climbs up halfway. SAUSAGE PANDA starts passing up the lights. Christmas song ROCKIN AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE begins to play. SPARKLE, BABOO and SAUSAGE PANDA finish wrapping the lights around the tree as the music stops.)

Sparkle: Now it's time to put up the ornaments!

Baboo: This will be a free for all. Grab ornaments whenever. If one of us hangs up more ornaments than everyone else, it doesn’t really matter.

(SPARKLE and BABOO climb down the tree.)

Baboo: Actually, I have a better idea. We go back to our places on the

tree, and Sausage Panda throws up ornaments to us! It will go much quicker. I’ll be in charge of the bottom half, and Sparkle, you will be in charge of the top half. Everyone agree?

(SAUSAGE PANDA and SPARKLE nod their heads. BABOO and SPARKLE climb the tree, back to where they were when they were stringing lights. Christmas song JINGLE BEllS begins. As the song comes to an end, lights dim. Lights out.)

Act 3, Scene 3 - Outside the Panda HQ

(Lights up on outside a three story black mini-skyscraper. Outside is PANDA ON CEILING, GIFT PANDA, BIG BAMBO and LITTLE BAMBO.)

Big Bambo: (Shivering, complaining) I’m cold.

Little Bambo: Good thing for the ugly sweaters.

Gift Panda: Let's get started.

(PANDA ON CEILING and GIFT PANDA open a cardboard box, and BIG BAMBO and LITTLE BAMBO open a different cardboard box.)

Panda on Ceiling: So, which first: Lights or decorations?

Gift Panda, Little Bambo: (At the same time) Lights!

Big Bambo: (At the same time as GIFT PANDA and LITTLE BAMBO) Decorations!

Panda on Ceiling: Looks like lights win.

Big Bambo: Aww..

Panda on Ceiling: (In a comforting tone, to BIG BAMBO) We’ll get to the decorations soon enough.

(PANDA ON CEILING, BIG BAMBO, LITTLE BAMBO and GIFT PANDA start stringing lights. The Christmas song Silent Night begins. They finish stringing lights as the song ends.)

Big Bambo: (Super-excited) Time for the decorations! YAY!

Little Bambo: (To GIFT PANDA) Pull out the decorations!

Gift Panda: Sure.

(PANDA ON CEILING, BIG BAMBO, LITTLE BAMBO and GIFT PANDA set up the decorations, while the Christmas song Holy Night is playing. Lights out.)

Act 4, Scene 1 - Living Room, Panda HQ

(Lights up on the living room in the Panda HQ. ALL PANDAS are in the room. There is Christmas music playing in the background. Wrapping paper litter the floor. Piles of new, unopened toys and gifts are everywhere. KUNG FU PANDA stands on the coffee table to make an announcement.)

Kung Fu Panda: This was a very Merry Christmas. You all did great with your jobs. I will assign jobs to put everything away later. Now the last thing I will say before everyone goes off and plays with their gifts is: Merry Christmas!

All Other Pandas: (Singing) And a Happy New Year!