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Christopher Cheeky Guts could not wait to drive a giant. He'd driven a car and 

thought that was fun but driving a giant would be even better. The untold mischief 

he could do in a giant made Christopher Cheeky Guts so excited he became more 

eager to get to the Giant Driver Learning School than ever.

The Admiral of the Giant School welcomed his student, but Christopher Cheeky 

Guts ignored the Admiral and stared in amazement at the real life giant. His head 

must have been the size of the moon and his ear lobes looked like satellite dishes 

beaming signals to outer space.

"Wow," said Christopher Cheeky Guts. "A real live giant all ready for blast off!"

"Not so fast student," said the Admiral. "We have a lot of details to go through 

before any blasting off can be done. Now climb aboard and take a back seat whilst 

I prepare for the lesson."

Cheeky Guts took a seat in the giant's head and stared out of the windows (which 

were the giant's eyes) whilst the Admiral waffled on and on about health and 

safety when driving the giant. Cheeky Guts started to nod off.

"Wake up lad!" shouted the Admiral, and banged his fist on the desk before 

continuing to point a pointy thing at the wall.

"Haven't we finished yet sir?" asked Christopher Cheeky Guts waking from his 

slumber. "This is dull, what a waste of time. Come on, let's get this giant fired up 

and crush a forest."

"Listen hear lad, driving a giant is serious business. The giant is not a toy, he's a 

fine piece of equipment that requires the utmost attention. If you crash this you'll 

cause a lot of damage, and risk injuring yourself and other members of the 

public."

"Alright cranky," said Cheeky Guts.

"What was that?" said the Admiral.

"Nothing," replied Cheeky Guts. He then sat still for the remainder of the boring 

lesson.

Soon it was time to drive the giant, and the Admiral pulled a lot of levers and 

turned a lot of dials. The giant got up on his feet and began to walk at a steady 

pace.

Cheeky Guts was excited that the giant was now up and walking, but after five 

minutes of watching the Admiral prance about the giant's head turning all sorts of 

knobs he was bored and wanted to have a turn himself. "Make it go faster," he 

said from the back seat. "Give it a good welly or let me have a go you old fool!"

The Admiral took most disdain from Christopher Cheeky Gut's manner and grew 

red in the face, but he was far too busy controlling the giant to reprimand the 

lad.

"If I knew we were out sightseeing I would have brought my binoculars," said 

Cheeky guts. "Come on, let me have a turn!"

The Admiral now blew his top and turned to put the lad in his place, but he 

knocked a lever by mistake and the giant stumbled over some rocks sending the 

Admiral and Cheeky Guts into the air. The Admiral landed in pile of rubber ducks 

whilst Cheeky Guts landed at the controls of the giant.

Cheeky Guts could not contain his excitement now he was in control of the 

giant. "Brilliant," he shouted as he looked at the Admiral stuck in the pile of 

rubber ducks. Cheeky Guts pulled a lever and steam blew from the giant's 

ears. Another lever made the giant pick his nose. One dial made the giant 

dance, and another made him go faster. Cheeky Guts liked this dial and turned 

it more and more.

"What are you playing at lad?" shouted the Admiral as he lay trapped. "You'll 

have us killed!"

The giant was now running and Cheeky Guts smiled and stared out of the 

windows and watched the world go by at an astonishing pace. Then he saw a 

lever that said 'DO NOT PULL, ONLY FOR BOUNCING'. Cheeky Guts pulled the 

lever and the giant began to bounce which made the Admiral feel very ill.

"This is better than a roller coaster," said Cheeky Guts.

"What about health and safety," shouted the Admiral. But Cheeky Guts kept 

pulling the lever and the giant kept on bouncing. He bounced himself all over 

the world. He bounced over forests, he bounced over deserts; and he bounced 

over the highest mountains before splash, he bounced into the sea.  

"Oh no, we're doomed," cried the Admiral as water poured in through the giant's 

mouth, nose and ears. "This giant cost a million pounds, and was the finest giant in 

all the lands. You, you there lad, you've wrecked this vessel. You'll pay for this, I'll 

make sure of it. Just you wait till we get back to dry land."

But the water poured into the giant and he began to sink into the deep dark mighty 

sea.

"I'm sure he can swim," said Christopher Cheeky Guts whilst pulling every lever he 

could in haste. "One of these switches must make him swim."

But he did not swim no matter how many levers or dials Cheeky Guts pulled and 

twisted. The giant sank to the bottom of the ocean taking the Admiral and Cheeky 

Guts with him. "We're doomed!" wailed the Admiral in despair.

"Oh do be quiet," replied Cheeky Guts before noticing a huge net in the corner. 

"Actually I've got a very good idea!" he announced. 

Cheeky Guts grabbed the net and quickly bundled the rubber ducks and the 

Admiral into the net.

"What on earth are you playing at lad?" said the Admiral looking most confused. 

"This is no time for foolery. I'll be having strong words with your mother when we 

get back. Now what on earth are you doing?"

Before he could say another word, Cheeky Guts tied a rope to the end of the net 

and tied the other end to the giant's only tooth. Then he tossed the net with the 

Admiral and the rubber ducks out of the giant's mouth and into the dark waters.

"I hope this works," said Cheeky Guts as he watched the ducks and the Admiral 

float up towards the surface. Once the rope took the slack the giant began to 

rise off the seabed. Then he began to climb up towards the surface where the 

sun glistened on the waves. First the netted rubber ducks came to the surface, 

and the Admiral took a gasp of air from the cool breeze blowing from the West. 

Then the giant rose to the surface and took an enormous breath which almost 

swallowed all of the clouds in the sky (and a flock of seagulls migrating South for 

the summer). "Phew," said Cheeky Guts. "We've made it."

Then a giant mermaid with long golden locks and a glittering pink tail appeared. 

"Need a hand?" asked the mermaid. "Would you like a tow to safety?"

The mermaid helped the giant to rest on the beach of a tropical island called 

Doughnut Island. "This is a nice place," said the mermaid before she swam off into 

the horizon.

"Right ho," said the Admiral still stuck in the ducks and netting. "That's enough 

excitement for today lad and this is where the lesson ends. Now please climb down 

and I'll put thing's shipshape."

"No chance," said Christopher Cheeky Guts. "You'll just dob me in to my mum and 

have me arrested. I'm not falling for that trick."

With that Christopher Cheeky Guts started to pull the bounce lever again but the 

giant did not bounce. Instead there was a very large groan from it's stomach as he 

lay on the beach. "What was that?" said Cheeky Guts in astonishment. He'd never 

heard a noise quite like it. "That sounded like heavy heavy thunder."

"That was the giant's stomach telling you he's hungry," replied the Admiral. And 

then there was another very loud rumble, even louder than before.

"Lucky that mermaid took us to Doughnut Island," said Christopher Cheeky Guts. 

"We'll feed him doughnuts. Lots of delicious sugary doughnuts."

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