Many a century ago, the lizard was not at all the fearful, fickle creature it is today, most sceptical and curious reader. There, in fact, was a point in time in which winged, fire-belching beasts ruled the sunny, searing, sulphurous isles of the Aquarius Australis region, resting in the depths of active volcanoes. The following tale is the long-forgotten recount of a most momentous and unexpected occurrence through the reptilian eyes of a young, giddy, greenest green and greatly gullible lizard.

Young Lizard soared halfway around Waiiha Island, with the oceanic, salty wind on his face, to reach his decrepit, ancient, great grandfather's den. Or crumbly hole, rather. With him, he carried a pile of giant, slimy earthworms - his great grandfather's favourite. Young Lizard landed with a thump and stumbled into the dim hole.

BURP!

A disgusting odour filled the air of the Wrinkled One's past meals of you-don't-want-to-know-what. "Great Grandfather! It's me!" he called. He was met with silence from the Wrinkled One, who lay on the floor, crazed, smelly, shrivelled and a dirty brown colour. However, when Young Lizard offered over the earthworms, the Wrinkled One savagely attacked them in a frenetic combination of unsightly chomping, slurping and dismembering. Wincing, Young Lizard turned to face his voracious great grandfather –

and received a flaming burp to the face. Luckily, lizards were perfectly fireproof, back in the day. However, the stench of such an expulsion would be an entirely different story; stinky as salamander sick.

*WHEEZE* *COUGH*

!!!

“Ah, yes that sure hits the spot,” sighed the old wheezer breathily. As he said this, an earthworm escapee wriggled furiously along the ground in an attempt to escape its vicious predator. Unfortunately for the poor, puny, pink prey, the Wrinkled One’s beady eye caught sight of it and popped it into his mouth like sashimi. After this, an even more unfortunate event occurred. As the Wrinkled One had no sense to chew his food, the worm, alive and kicking, launched itself into the aged lizard's air hole, ending up in the three hundred year old lizard’s lung. The Wrinkled One’s already blatant veins protruded further, as he gasped, choked and wheezed more violently than he’d done ever before. The coughing fits abruptly stopped as he fell to the floor.   

“Great Grandfather?! Are you alive?!” asked Young Lizard, bewildered. Suddenly, the Wrinkled One sprung up like a Jack-in-a-box.

“O, young lizard, you must take heed what you will now hear!” he croaked hysterically, convulsing rapidly. “A great disaster shall take place and the ocean shall engulf lizard kind! Humans will steal our beloved islands!

“But what do y—“

“You must warn everyone! Go!” bellowed the frail, flustered lizard. And with that message of sunshine and rainbows, Young Lizard fumbled to his feet and took off.

GO!

The Great One, king of the lizards, was lathering himself in the luxurious, royal lava of Tihita Volcano when he felt a splash next to him. SPLOOSH! Young Lizard had bombed through the crater like a nutty meteor.

“Y-your Greatness (may whose fangs grow ever sharper and scales ever shinier), please hear me out—“

“WHO dares to come into my presence without my permission, let alone interrupt my slumber?!” questioned the vast, deep orange lizard irritably. The Great One has always had the rude habit of cutting into people’s sentences.

“Th-the Wrinkled One, your Greatness (may whose fangs grow ever sharper and scales ever shinier); an urgent disaster—“

“I’LL HAVE NONE OF IT YOU COMMONER – OUT!” roared the Great One. And out Young Lizard went – but not without a painful lash from the Great One’s scaly, scaly tail. 

OUCH!

OUCH!

Young Lizard pleaded with his parents, but he was once (twice) again lashed for being so darned gullible. He pleaded with his dolphin auntie, Auntie Dophlin, also to no avail.

“You poor, gullible thing! How troublesome it will be for you to survive,” Auntie Dophlin had tutted, before punishing Young Lizard with a flick of water. This was excruciatingly painful as lizards shrivel at the touch of water in a most unpleasant manner.   

Finally, the tired reptile curled up next to a big, tropical tree, tucked his head under his wings and sulked miserably. He was still sulking when he heard a queer rustle in the leaves of the big, tropical tree. Lifting his wing slightly, he peeped at the movement. Out popped the mischievous, playful monkey, Uncle Menkoy, who was grinning a broad smile.

“Hungry?” the hairy creature asked curiously.

“Mm, yes, I am famished.”

“Here, have some, delicious, sweet, sticky honeycomb I found,” said Uncle Menkoy kindly.

“Thanks!” responded Young Lizard eagerly, unaware of his uncle’s sly smirk as he disappeared back into the tree.

What a nice fellow, thought the gullible lizard. 

As Young Lizard took a big bite, he realised the honeycomb wasn’t sweet at all. Nor spongey, nor sticky, nor delicious. It was... WASPY!

“YIKES!” yelped the gullible lizard. In an instant, the wasps were on his tail (literally) and the poor guy was flying for his life. Bolting frantically at a million miles a minute, Young Lizard looked like a headless chicken, creating whirlwinds around Waiiha Island. In a last ditch attempt, he threw himself into someone’s den with the rest of his stamina.

CRASH!

The wasps buzzed aggressively past.

Hardly landing gracefully, Young Lizard found himself sprawled on a rocky floor. However, he was very relieved to have escaped the wasps.

Now, Young Lizard, in his panic, forgot the common courtesy of knocking before entering a lizard’s den. In addition, he had chosen the den of the crankiest old reptile on the whole island. Young Lizard felt a piercing gaze set on him, drilling into the back of his head. All his instincts screamed at him to leave, but he was much too dizzy from his encounter with the wasps. An ominous figure lurked in the shadows, moving closer to the quivering, young lizard every second. The figure disappeared suddenly and a cold sweat broke out on Young Lizard’s forehead. Hearing a growl behind him, he whipped around.