Just a short little story I wrote for a talent show...please tell me what you think in the comments! :D

Laura Sword was seventeen years old. She was a beautiful girl with golden brown hair and light brown eyes to match. Her father and mother had both died in the war against Russia, which began in the year 2052. To honor her parents, she decided to join the military. Because of her history of having such stellar grades in high school, and being reasonably athletic, Laura was chosen to be one of the few elite soldiers. Elite soldiers were sent into the most dangerous and deadly situations, with conditions no ordinary soldier could survive. She would undergo some of the most intense training to insure her survival in battle.
Laura woke up in the bottom bunk, every muscle in her body aching. She pulled down her covers with a moan and staggered towards the bathroom to get dressed in her uniform. She looked down at her watch, still half awake. “06:00 Hours!? Already!?” Her eyes widened, “Everyone get up! We’re going to miss breakfast!” Every soldier flew out of bed as Laura raced into the bathroom with her uniform. She quickly brushed her teeth and slipped on her uniform, then she began tugging on her boots as she hopped out the door on her way to the cafeteria. Her golden hair glistened in the sun as she sprinted across the training ground, her comrades following soon after. Luckily they arrived just in time, at 6:15 and had a good breakfast of fresh bacon and eggs.
Laura stood up to get coffee. As she was walking back to her seat, she ran into her general, splattering the precious drink all over his newly cleaned uniform. She backed up nervously, looking into the new general’s light blue eyes. “S-sorry sir...it was an a-accident, I-” He suddenly burst into laughter, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Well, at least my uniform looks lived-in now!” He continued laughing and he put his hand on Laura’s shoulder. “Apology accepted.” He walked away with a little grin, probably to get paper towels. Laura stood dumbfounded, she wasn’t expecting their new general to be so light-hearted. Their last general was anything but that. If she had spilled coffee on his uniform, he probably would’ve tied her to a tree for the night.
Later that day, Laura and a few other soldiers lined up on the training ground, ready for instruction from the new general. He stood in front of the line of soldiers, this time having a serious look on his face. The general called out saying, “My name is general McGregor. I do believe some of you met me earlier.” Laura blushed in embarrassment, remembering what had happened. The general continued, the light breeze blowing his light blond hair across his face. “The Russian military is advancing on us, soon they will discover our position. You have all been training for many months, and I think you’ve all had enough substantial training to go on your first mission. I will be accompanying you, just in case something happens that you’re not yet prepared for.”
A soldier behind Laura spoke up loudly, and Laura was tempted to cover her ears. “What will our mission be, sir!?” General McGregor reached into the pocket on his chest and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. The general cleared his throat and began reading aloud, “The elite soldiers will be sent undercover into Russia via jet. They will attempt to find Shastin Leonidovich, leader of the Russians and assassinate him.” That night Laura lay in bed, wide awake. She was very nervous. They were to go on their first mission in exactly twenty-four hours. She knew that she had spent long days training hard, but she still had a feeling of self-doubt. Laura woke up to the sound of a bugle, signaling for them to begin packing their bags, and to wake up of course.
She scrambled out of bed, cramming her toothbrush, walkie-talkie, assault rifle, first aid kit, hairbrush, tent, beef jerky, apples, canteen, sleeping bag, and a few uniforms into her bag. She finished with a long yawn, slinging her bag over her shoulder. As she approached the jet, she said to herself with a grin, “Now look who’s late!” She entered the jet, seeing everyone was already there. They all began laughing as she sat down with a scoff, crossing her arms. A few minutes later they took off, headed for Russia. As they were flying over the Atlantic Ocean, the jet began trembling violently.
General McGregor encouraged his soldiers, “I'm sure it's only turbulence.” Laura nodded her head, although she felt fear in the pit of her stomach. She had always hated flying, even when she was a child. Suddenly the engine went silent and everyone froze. Moments later they began plummeting down towards the deep, dark water. Laura screamed in fear and shock as the jet went down faster and faster. Everything became a blur from then on. This was it, this was the end. She woke up as the icy water surrounded her. She began gasping for air as the cold water stung her skin like a thousand needles. Laura couldn't see, she couldn't breathe, which way was up? She struggled through the water, trying to breathe. All she wanted was to breathe. Laura slowly closed her eyes, finally accepting her horrible fate.
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Just a short little story I wrote for a talent show...please tell me what you think in the comments! :D

Laura Sword was seventeen years old. She was a beautiful girl with golden brown hair and light brown eyes to match. Her father and mother had both died in the war against Russia, which began in the year 2052. To honor her parents, she decided to join the military. Because of her history of having such stellar grades in high school, and being reasonably athletic, Laura was chosen to be one of the few elite soldiers. Elite soldiers were sent into the most dangerous and deadly situations, with conditions no ordinary soldier could survive. She would undergo some of the most intense training to insure her survival in battle.
Laura woke up in the bottom bunk, every muscle in her body aching. She pulled down her covers with a moan and staggered towards the bathroom to get dressed in her uniform. She looked down at her watch, still half awake. “06:00 Hours!? Already!?” Her eyes widened, “Everyone get up! We’re going to miss breakfast!” Every soldier flew out of bed as Laura raced into the bathroom with her uniform. She quickly brushed her teeth and slipped on her uniform, then she began tugging on her boots as she hopped out the door on her way to the cafeteria. Her golden hair glistened in the sun as she sprinted across the training ground, her comrades following soon after. Luckily they arrived just in time, at 6:15 and had a good breakfast of fresh bacon and eggs.
Laura stood up to get coffee. As she was walking back to her seat, she ran into her general, splattering the precious drink all over his newly cleaned uniform. She backed up nervously, looking into the new general’s light blue eyes. “S-sorry sir...it was an a-accident, I-” He suddenly burst into laughter, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Well, at least my uniform looks lived-in now!” He continued laughing and he put his hand on Laura’s shoulder. “Apology accepted.” He walked away with a little grin, probably to get paper towels. Laura stood dumbfounded, she wasn’t expecting their new general to be so light-hearted. Their last general was anything but that. If she had spilled coffee on his uniform, he probably would’ve tied her to a tree for the night.
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